I've never been a quitter

...so how do you know when is it time to call it quits?

Morning Yearning

i woke up early to complete silence. i made some tea. everything is still in tones of grey, everyone is still sleeping soundly. i took breakfast with some Feist and opened the window to a misty morning. the light is low, my heart is high, and i think i'm falling back in love with life.

The Hiatus

It's over.
Lesson: Life moves on with or without you.

Ann Demeulemeester: Spring/Summer 2007

For over two decades, Ann Demeulemeester has stayed true to herself, displaying the Belgian rocker chick look. With items that are long-lasting, in both style and durability, her Spring/Summer 2007 collection was no exception. The collection featured the concept of the urban poet, having cut-away men's vest with fading flowing blouses, and spelled out androgyny at its finest. Demeulemeester offers intelligent fashion in time dominated by sleaze.

Here are some of my favourite outfits from the collection:

All photo credits to Marcio Madeira.

Did the Danforthe

I headed down to Greek Town last night to see my friend Joe Chammas perform. He played an acoustic set at Renaissance Cafe.

It was a good night out. A 3-chord angry chick played later on in the night and we ran into a middle-aged druggie on the street. Apologies, for the lack of footage of either of these shady characters.

Joe's sites:
http://www.soundclick.com/joechammas
http://www.myspace.com/joechammas

Pillow fight, anyone?

Unfortunately to disappoint male readers but I'm actually talking about the PFL. Pillow Fight League, that is. Pillow fighting is making its way into the sporting world and gaining quite a lot of attention in pop culture, being called "a glimpse of the future of sport" by ESPN mag. Like any sport, the league has established official rules and guidelines which must be followed:

the Official PFL Rules
1.	Female pillow fighters only. No exceptions.
2.	Professional pillow fights are won via pinfall, surrender, or referee stoppage. If a pillow fight ends at the time limit with no winner, a winner is declared by a three-judge committee, using the traditional 10 point system. Pillow fighters are judged based on Style, Stamina, and the Eye of the Tiger.
3.	Pillow fighting is Fun. No biting, scratching, or hair pulling. Malicious intent and blatant disregard of your opponent's safety (or your own) may result in immediate suspension and/or dismissal from the League.
4.	Mouth guards, knee pads and elbow pads are mandatory.
5.	Bearing in mind Rule #3, most anything goes in a pillow fight, as long as there is a pillow at the point of contact. Preventing your opponent's offense by holding her pillow is not allowed.
6.	Pillow fighters must practice good sportswomanship. No rude, lewd, or suggestive behavior.
7.	A pillow is not a weapon. Deliberately compressing the pillow fibres to increase the density of the pillow is not allowed. Loading a pillow with any foreign object is strictly forbidden.

According to the PFL website, http://www.gopfl.com/ : "It's business is training women to become Professional Pillow Fighters in the PFL Arena, providing Entertainment for an audience, at PFL Live Events and at PFL Special Appearances." Don't take these fighters as a joke or they'll fight you... with a pillow?

Irvine

Are you there?
Are you watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
They say you feel what I do
They say you're here every moment
Will you stay?
Stay 'till the darkness leaves
Stay here with me
I know you're busy, I know I'm just one
But you might be the only one who sees me
The only one to save me

//

Why is it so hard?
Why can't you just take me?
I don't have much to go
Before I fade completely

Summer classes

It's summer and yet school has been so busy lately with the semester coming to an end. The profs have really shown no sign of mercy these past few months, loading us up with one thing after another. Naturally, they show no sign of easing up either. I'm totally stressed so I decided to take today off as a day to relax and reload. I've been working on a new song this morning. Metric's cover of Elliott Smith's "Between the Bars" is pretty much amazing - I recommend checking it out asap. Hm, I haven't had time to just hang out recently; maybe I should go for coffee with Steph... Honestly though, I love the school year [not just cos I'm a nerd at heart]. It's fun but hectic, and that's why I really think summers should just be summers. You know, like the ones when we were kids, the summers that seemed to last forever? [Yes, I was just channeling the chorus of "Summer of 69".] I fear that I won't have a proper summer break this year with the inevitability of schoolwork bleeding into September. Otherwise things are cool. Man, I should be a drama major for more than one reason.

She works hard for the money

To say this ad is sexual is, perhaps, an understatement.

Angry F-O-B strikes back

Ch, I ain't promiscuous... but I am mischievous. I admit it, I love to punk people. With the summer heat, school stress, and a little bit of boredom, I felt the need to get my mischief on. Not anything super devious, just a little fun and games, you know? So I had this great idea! A club I used to go to last summer has a guestbook on their website. The guestbook isn't frequently read - mostly because horny weirdos post stupid shit on it - so I was sure if my plan would work. In spite, I tried and it worked. I wanted to mock the ridiculous posts of the past but also see what people have been saying about me since I moved away. So I posted about myself in brainless fashion with an alias. Without fail, the drama alert went off and, as such, my joke went through. Take a gander below while I dry the tears of laughter streaming down my face...

[My post:]

im so excited for next time!!! lookin forward to an awesome time. good indian music. but mostly the hot indian boys (esp ones like Vishal, TJ and Asad) & even the non-desis (like mark and da'an). what ever happened to da'an? a lil drunk & wild but my fav. i havent seen nav in a while either!! hopefully at next mela

[Reply:]

yeah someone needs to sober up. Who are these no name/generic people you're talking about and which one of them is yourself? Mela is about good music and good times, in a safe relaxed and comfortable environment not about people pretending to be someone else to promote themselves. Reality Check: This is NOT ratedesi.com or high school!

These are my thoughts on the matter:

• HAHAHAHHAHA...

• Who actually posts in this guestbook that regularly? The person who replied did so within a couple of hours. Sad.
  

• Why would someone ASSUME that people are posting for self-promo... unless they've done so? Uh oh! Plus, the no name/generic comment was such a stupid comment to make. Mostly because I did name all these people but also because all those people [myself included, not to be arrogant] listed aren't generic. We were basically extremely well-known at the club scene. I have this feel that Mr. F-O-B is a bit jealous because his name wasn't included. In my defense, it's not my fault! If he was noteworthy, I honestly would have included his name. Poor dude...
  

• Ew, anger much? How could someone take something like that so seriously? Hilarious. I feel like I need to wear a bulletproof vest now. Honestly, his reaction went beyond the effect I was going for. Bril!
  

• Any Suggestions for retaliation?

Coming To America

She doesn't smile.
She doesn't eat.
She is major.



Watch Victoria Beckham bitch out Perez Hilton.



"It's exhausting being fabulous."

For more information on the NBC special Victoria Beckham Comes to America:
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/celebritology/2007/07/victoria_beckhams_major_debut.html

Finally, she had her cake and ate it too...

This weekend was an example of how summer should be; fun.

On Friday evening I met up with Kendra to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I was early, she was late, we were both without our mobile phones, and things worked out. When we entered, Kendra saw her high school friend Briar who works at the theater. She is very intense to say the least - thought that could have been the emo pink eyeshadow that swayed me. I sorta kinda basically wanted to back away slowly whenever she prompted me for agreement. Regardless, she invited Kendra to a kegger [and said I could come too] as well as managed to snag us two child tickets for the low price of 6 dollars each. The movie was really good! I noticed there was a lot less emphasis on a storyline and a lot more action this time around. [As a side note: I think should play Harry Potter if the whole HP mania spawns off into a musical for coloured people by coloured people.] After the movie, we had to take the bus as I cannot drive with my foot injury. When we arrived at the bus stop behind the theater, Kendra asked the bus driver if the mall near my house was on his route. It wasn't. The driver was totally oblivious of anything I was saying because he was too busy gawking at Kendra. The price of beauty, I suppose. We decided not to wait 47 minutes for the right bus to arrive but to walk to a couple blocks to a busier intersection. We got to the mall safe a sound. We made a quick pit stop at the drug store to buy a chocolate cake mix and powdered custard. I learned several things on our long travel home. 1, Kendra has a right drift while walking, which explains why I am always on her left side. 2, Kendra's Jamaican side gives her the ability to speak rasta patois and, as such, the power to ward off ganstas parked in black SUVs in the empty parking lot by the mall. 3, We look hella good on public transit. More lessons would follow when we got back to my house. 1, My dog loves me more than Kendra. 2, I can fake being a bad cook when I want a girl to cook for me. 3, I don't think Kendra liked my new song. All in all, it was a fun evening. I have to remember to take my camera with me wherever I go!

This, sadly, is not the cake we made...

Saturday seemed to float by with a sleepy disposition and an ample amount of schoolwork. I went to Saturday evening mass with my Ma. It was the youth mass so it was very untraditional seeming. The soloist had such a pretty voice. After the mass, my Ma asked me why I don't sing for church anymore. It was a good question... The day ended with ice cream and watching the re-run of the BET Awards with my parents. My ghetto fab sister went out so we were lost for the most part who was who. Apparently, my parents both disregard Diana Ross' drug and violence issues and think "she's a class act".

I woke up really early on Sunday morning and decided that I wanted to sing in with the 10 am choir again. My dad is one of the guitarist for the choir so I joined him for the early morning practice. During the summer, the usual Thursday evening practices are moved to Sunday mornings before mass. I am happy I chose to sing; I felt more connected to the mass this way. Afterward, we rushed downtown with a couple of family friends to see the musical We Will Rock You. I think I've learned my way downtown well because I was able to give directions to the others. Yay, proud! We got there early so we stopped by this Bangladesh festival happening in Dundas Square shortly to listen to a band that was playing. We only stayed for two songs then walked across to the theater. The Cannon Theater was a lot simpler than I expected - perhaps because the last theater I was at was the Garnier Opera House. I liked the music a lot but I thought the plot was slightly stupid. One of the friends brought a date, who came to talk to me during intermission when the others went to stretch their legs or use the washrooms. Thankfully, my dad saved me from the hotness of this very friendly individual by answering all the questions asked of me. Pft! On the bright side, I love my parents and they went out for drinks later that night so I got the house to myself. I decided to get wild by watching Big Brother and Brothers & Sisters while eating lamb burgers and Greek salad.

I had an appointment with a geneticist on Friday morning. A blood sample has been sent off to Ottawa to confirm whether I have HNPP. I was told I display the classic example of this genetic disorder. It's not lethal thankfully but still not the best thing to find out. Who would have thought bad news could kick off such a lovely weekend?

My First Debut

Tonight, I attended my very first debut. It was a culture burst and very entertaining. For those of you who are not familiar with this celebration, a debut is short for a debuatante ball. At this ball, a debutante, which is the French word for "female beginner", is formally presented or "comes out" to her community on her 18th birthday. It is traditionally held in the upper classes for the purposes of displaying the young woman off to eligible bachelors. Many different cultures have embraced this ball.

The debut I attended was held in honor of the daughter of my Filipino neighbors. After a blessing and dinner, a series of musical and dance performances took place, including a waltz done by the debutante, her escort, and her court (nine couples, for a total of 18 people all together, including debutante couple). A candle and rose ceremony followed, in which 18 roses were presented to the debuantante by males and 18 candles were lit by the males' partner.

I felt that remnants of the debut's traditionally purposes came through at times making the night seem like a show of sorts, where the debutante is the star of the production and the guests are the audience. With that said, it was really cool to be able to witness all of this. I learned so much about the importance and structure of this event that I would have never have known about otherwise.

Discussions on Life, Love, and Europe

Sunday was kind of a big deal in Canada, being the nation's birthday and all. On the night of July 1st, the sky has this wonderful tendency of filling up with fireworks. I don't like fireworks. I wish I did but I don't. They're just totally boring and overrated to me. Alas, I managed to not attend a fireworks show and ended my long weekend at Lyndsay's new apartment in Guelph. I had a lot of fun and, not to sound emo or anything but I needed this weekend, it convinced me not all my friends are hating on me right now. I got to see Anjali for a few hours at dinner before she started her 8-hour journey back home. I was also able to properly meet Jeff, Lyndsay's boyfriend. She began dating him when I had just moved to Paris so I haven't really had the chance to give him the third-degree...yet. By far, my favourite part of the weekend was our discussions on life, love, and Europe. It used to be a daily break for us to meet with Shilpa and Caitlyn in the café of building to have these talks and eat tons. It had been so long since we've had one of our lovely late-night talks. I love them so much because they can tie in almost every part of day-to-day dramas. Lyndsay can pose the most peculiar questions and I pride myself in responding in the most shocking way. That night, Dawson Leery and Joey Potter were channeled and nostalgia flowed like a river.

Here are a few photos:

Lyndsay likes to bake. I like her new kitchen. Banana bread anyone?

Anjali has this habit of panicking. This is her running to catch her coach.

Anjali wasn't late so we ate to celebrate.

Lyndsay misses me on a daily basis. It's quite sad...

Some things are die hard, such as our enjoyment for insanity. We call it "Hideous".

Lyndsay loves me. And I love this photo. Smile!

It's Ma'am as in Sam Not Mum as in Bum

These past few days have been rather royal. No, really. I mean royal. I finally watched The Queen starring Helen Mirren. Both my ma and I agreed the film was well done. It detailed the day-to-day happenings of the Queen just prior to and succeeding Princess Diana’s death. I, like many, dislike Queen Elizabeth II but the film made me view her from a different perspective. She holds her title as head of the sovereignty to the utmost importance along with all its duties. She is simply trying to do well in the tradition that prepared her.

Yesterday, I tuned in for parts of Concert for Diana, a musical celebration throw by Prince William and Harry in dedication to their late mother. Reporters were going completely mad for the princes, tossing compliments left, right, and center. Ugh! One man being interviewed went as far as to say the two young men are role models for all young people. Okay... Now, that is just ridiculous. I’m not quite sure if I, as a young person, would like to look to Prince Harry as a role model. I know he’s a prince but does that disregard the fact that he’s a perverted ass-grabber who wears swastika armband and was checked into rehab at age 17? I suppose so. But hell, if I'm going to have a role model like that I'd much rather look to another fire crotch - Lindsay Lohan.

Although Prince William has done nothing wrong, I don’t want him to be king. I have nothing against him but, as people have said time and time again, the monarchy must go. When it comes down to it, however, only one in five vote to boot out the royals. It seems to me that British people do not want to let go of the romance and fairytale lifestyle a monarchy brings. But think about this: who is living the fairytale lifestyle? Not the people, rather a select few who have done nothing but be born. There is a difference between a child lucking out and being part of a wealthy family. You see, somewhere down the line someone in the family had to earn that money. She/he worked hard, played smart, or stole. Speaking of stealing, the British monarch "earns" £88 million from taxpayers a year without really earning a single cent of that figure. In the modern world, the monarch hinders instead of helps society flourish. Britain must make the move towards becoming a republic for the sake of its people.

Click the URL below to view other supporting arguments of Republicanism in the United Kingdom as well as some opposing arguments: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republicanism_in_the_United_Kingdom

Virtual Insanity

My summer has been fairly uneventful thus far with my injury and the sudden disappearance of my friends. My close confidant Kendra has recently moved back to Toronto from studying in Leeds. I've missed her greatly - naturally, she's felt the same - and so we planned to see our all-time favourite bisexual celebrity in A Mighty Heart. I searched the internet for showtimes and we planned dinner before seeing the film. There was a show at 7h30. Perfect! [Kendra's still jetlagged and wanted to be home by 9h30... I know, we've gone from dancing on railings to home before sundown. We've truly turned into a wild pair.] When we got to the cinema, there was, however, no 7h30 show on the huge electronic sign hanging above the box office. Why's that? That's because A Mighty Heart, as we could soon learn from the ticket seller, was not playing at that cinema. WHAT?! I check the location and times on the internet. How could this be? All was not lost as I still had a lovely time at dinner and equally lovely - but awkward - time watching Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer with a room full of little kids and their parents.

It got me thinking... Of course, we all know that what is online is not always truth in the real world. But do we really? I'm not just talking about incorrect movie openings. You turn on your computer, click the icon for your internet browser, and then POW! You are taken to a virtual world full of everything that is known to man, something called "pixels" [whatever those are], and all lies and falsities you could ever imagine. Yay! Let's talk about MySpace, for instance, shall we? Yay! Almost everyone on MySpace has an innumerable number of friends who have found their way onto the ol' friends list but have never been or may never be met in-person. Despite my old tendency to judge this particular situation, I've come around and learned to appreciate the "online friend". I have people on my list who I've never met so this to me is fine. However, is it fine that most people's profiles do not portray the person they are in the real world? It is without a doubt in my mind that people write things online they would never say in person, turn from shy to overtly sexual for the sake of a thoroughly observed photo section, and, of course, exaggerate certain qualities to attract certain friends. My first thought is that I hate MySpace... but then I come to my senses. I realize MySpace isn't evil and that I'm probably just as bad as half of these people. We are lying to ourselves about ourselves for others. Later, this idea came to me: maybe who we see online are not lies but the true person that is inhibited in the real world? If we do something shocking online, we don't have deal with the consequences. We just click "block" then "delete" everyone and get new friends. Or do more subtle things... but I'm tad dramatic [in person and in my virtual self] so think up the subtle ways yourself. Hem. Regardless, I think we should all keep in mind that before and after this virtual insanity, we are the people who live and breathe in flesh and blood. We should be aiming to improve ourselves as real people not our profile photos. Oh, and by the way, just as a reality check to those kids who's online profiles scream "too cool for school!", you're not fooling anyone. I know you are actually just students with emo haircuts and bad taste in music so fuck off, k?

Any thoughts? (:

A few words on and from Julia Hare

Dr. Julia Hare is spokesperson for the black community who reminds us of things we'd rather not remember but need to.



She is an author on educational psychology, a social commentator, and, basically, amazing.

There's something special about Irvine

At one time, Kelly Clarkson not only represented the sole major success story of the Idol franchise but also a powerhouse in the music industry overall, pumping out hit single after hit single. Although “Never Again” has grown on me, I had begun to question the future of the 25-year-old Texan singer-songwriter after seeing her performance of “Never Again” on the season finale of Idol. Kinda terrible. In fact, I started to prefer Carrie Underwood's composure and lack of shouting out a song.

After my friend Lorraine linked me up to preview the yet-to-be-released My December, I feel as though I need to apologize for ever doubting Kelly. It is perhaps one of the most anticipated releases of the year and has already stirred up quite a bit of controversy with Clive Davis in opposition of its release, the firing of her long-time manager, and the cancellation of a summer tour due to disappointing ticket sales. The CD does have a few shitty tracks but some of the slower-tempo numbers are beyond anything Kelly’s recorded before. As Lorraine said, "It's not so radio friendly but still good music".

When I first heard the song “Irvine” I wanted to cry. Shut up, I know... haha I just feel something when I listen to this track. Maybe because it’s such an amazing song or maybe because I am struggling to strength my faith again. The song is, in essence, a heart-filled conservation between Kelly and God, in which she poses questions about God's relationship with her. The words have a lot of meaning but the music isn’t dull or depressing. Kelly's voice, full of perfect flaws, simply sings the lyrics over an acoustic guitar strumming away. To me, it paints a desaturated image of a clothes line in a yard drying white sheets that sway in the summer breeze. This is my new favourite, it’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Tear.

Here’s my YES/NO opinion on each of the tracks:
1. "Never Again" = YES!
2. "One Minute" = NO
3. "Hole" = NO
4. "Sober" = YES!
5. "Don't Waste Your Time" = YES
6. "Judas" = YES
7. "Haunted" = YES
8. "Be Still" = YES
9. "Maybe" = YES!
10. "How I Feel" = NO
11. "Yeah" = NO
12. "Can I Have a Kiss" = NO
13. "Irvine" = YES!!

The album drops Tuesday 26 June in Canada and the US. Go out and purchase a copy. Oh! Look out for the hidden track “Chivas” after “Irvine”. Bad sex + Whisky = Hilarious…Another song I can relate to. haha!

Dentists should really be titled Killers

I've gone to the same dentist for as long as I can remember and have never enjoyed the experience. Never having a cavity and never having to wear braces or a retainer, my pearly white smile has been the subject of many superficial compliments. Regardless, going to the dentist has always left me with a headache. I’m not sure if it’s the sound of the equipment, the taste and smell of the gritty paste they use, or my dentist’s judging eyes looking down at me but I always leave the office questioning whether I was punched in the face while blinking.

Thoughts of “I could be doing so many other more useful things with my Saturday” appeared as I sat in the waiting room of my dentist’s newly renovated office. My dentist is Dr. Choo-Campell. She’s good at what she does, apparently, and because of this she has become quite successful over the years. She now has an ever increasing number of employees, a continuously renovated office, and a perpetually flourishing pretentious attitude. Dr. Choo- Campell, nevertheless, has always been a fan of my teeth. After having a hissy-fit at one of her dental hygienists [seriously, it was almost Janice Dickinson worthy], she asked my sister a ridiculous amount of nosy questions involving business schools and why she is wanting to pursue the career in the field she wants to. She ended on a classy note saying, “My daughter would be jealous of you.” My poor sister. I would have bit the bitch. Or at least, I thought I would have. Though worse was to come and no cannibal acts were committed that afternoon. Maybe I'm all talk. Then again I'm not a dentist, I mean killer. Same thing, right? As the dentist pushed aside one of her many nameless employees, she insulted my hair and asked me if I wanted a haircut while she was at it. Lovely. She then put on her goggles and announced that my teeth are stained. Kindly, the dentist asked me "Do you brush your teeth?" while making a horrified expression. Great. "My going-to-the-dentist experience has officially become hell," I thought and then began to contemplating whether the woman’s weight loss had caused her to go insane. My teeth are almost unnaturally white. People ask me if I bleach them with those strips and stuff! I really don’t get how she could see any stains even with her fancy goggles. I insured her I brush my teeth multiple times a day. The dentist began to stab my gums and randomly scoffed, “I would ask you to floss as well as brush but there’s no point in asking the impossible of you.” I do floss! Thankfully, she got up and stormed out of the room as a timid older dental hygienist named Josie entered moments later. Josie complimented me on my white smile and was very kind but, unfortunately for me, very clumsy. She cut my lip, dropped the gritty paste in my eye, and some how managed to smear a bluish-green substance across my left cheek. This paste, as she warned me beforehand, was so incredibly sandy that both my sister and I could still taste it hours later after brushing and rinsing several times. I thought my experiences of going to the dentist would improve as the years went on. Although, I have diverged from my beliefs that the dentist was evil and going to remove my baby teeth with pliers, I am still gripping the arm rests…

Rejoice that rhyming slang is no longer 'nang'

Accents are like spices. I find the basic English language to be fairly dull to listen to. Unlike Spanish or French, English has no free flow; there is little necessity for pitch variation like the Chinese and Indian languages have; and unlike some African languages, English has no strength or real umph. However, throw in an accent everything changes. Each syllable, each word, each phrase... syntax is spiced up.

I think slang can have the same effect; a certain amount of interest is brought to the spoken word when slang is introduced. I disagree with the argument that slang is not "proper" English. I'm not too sure why people are so against slang. Perhaps because slang usually originates from the lower socio-economic groups and works its way into the white suburban neighborhoods and before you know it middle aged men are admitting their co-workers they're phat [in this particular case perhaps they meant it with an f though...] while the elite snub their noses up only to jump on the bandwagon five minutes too late. New words are thought up, dictionaries grow, and languages change. But think about! The words that are commonplace for use now were at one time frowned upon. Different vocabulary is suitable in different situations. Sure, for now, speak "proper" English when you're going for a job interview at a major bank. But if you're in the hood for example, speaking "proper" English might not be the best way of communicating. Colloquial speech should not be looked down upon nor should speaking with an accent. Different doesn't equate to bad or inferior. Different is different.

Check out this article on changes in the Cockey dialect by Philip Hensher in The Independent:
http://comment.independent.co.uk/columnists_a_l/philip_hensher/article307658.ece

This is My Now...

...and I am breathing in the moment - Yes, I'm actually singing Jordin Spark's single "This is My Now". It's been stuck in my head all day and I like it! I just admitted this to my friend Lorraine. She didn't cast any stones though I felt the inner snicker with her trademark"eh". I know!! Gah, the song is so coming-of-age. God, what's wrong with me? Next, I'll be confessing that I like watching Joey, Pacey, and the rest of the Capeside crew. Oops!

To listen to this rather catchy song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vscyeW6Uq3E

A hopefully Wednesday evening

Good news has been sparingly offered to this lad recently; however, the past few days have taken a spin on the upside leaving me tonight with a hopefully smile. After spending several hours in the hospital this week, I was told that my foot is on its way to healing. Apparently there has been some nerve damage and unusual cuts along the nerves in other limbs but with time I should be back in fighting form. I was also told that I am fit to return to my days in retail. I decided to call up Club Monaco on Monday afternoon only to hear the voice of a perky new salesgirl. The assistant manager wasn’t in and so I was left with the harsh reality that I had been replaced. Or so I thought. I got in touch with the assistant manager who informs me that I still have my job despite major cutbacks in store employment. A new store manager has been hired and she wants meet me. So for now, I’m safe but for how long I’m not too sure. I was so excited that I had to make contact with another life form. I actually signed onto MSN messenger for the first time in who knows how long. Within less than twenty minutes I realized why I’m never on that thing anymore and that some of my friends are incredibly selfish. Okay, fine... I know both of these things before. But the feelings were reinforced during those twenty minutes. Luckily, my mood was not offset. I took a raincheck for dinner with my friend Damion as I was drained. I had a lovely Wednesday evening tuning in for CNTM, So You Think You Can Dance?, my new favourite show Traveler, and the nightly news with Lloyd Robertson. I really need to get some new books tomorrow… Well, staying on the bright side, at least I don't say "at all" like a`tall instead of at-all. My neurosurgerical nurse did it and, all thought I think she's a sweetheart, for fuck's sake don't say the words as if they're two totally different words with different meanings. I love accents. I think they bring flavour to the English language but saying a`tall is an attempt to be prim but it comes out sounding snobby and oh so WRONG. Hmm, like I was saying... I had a lovely evening!

Perez Hilton

American blogger Perez Hilton has become a household name in the world of celebrity gossip. Why? At the peak of Britney’s nosedive, Perezhilton.com served over 4.75 million unique visitors in a 24 hour period. Still, I’m not quite sure. See, I’ve never felt the need to check out his website. Not because I have no interest in celebrities but because I don't dig Perez's style. Today, I did check it out, however, for the purposes of limiting presumptions. My thoughts were confirmed. Perez Hilton is a wet blanket. He, like Paris Hilton, has attained fame by doing nothing out of the ordinary. Perhaps this is why they are now friends and Perez’s supposedly unapologetic entries have favoured Paris by refusing to present any stories of the inmate in a negative light. Before you think I’m going to start dogging Paris, think again. I’d take the insanity of the fake-and-bake princess over the excessively dull celebrity wannabe any day, any night. That’s right! I think Perez simply wants to be a celeb. Oh, well…everyone deserves 5 minutes of fame I suppose – even if they are lame-gay-outing-overweight-perverted [I saw what he did to that male model on the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency during the Aussie Bum auditions]- Paris- Hilton- wannabes- with- blue- Kool- Aid- dyed- hair. Smile!

p.s. no apologies, bitch!

www.perezhilton.com

First Weekend in June

Friday
+ In complete contrast to these past few weeks, my weekend seemed like it was going to be totally busy.
– I had tons of schoolwork.
+ I managed to finish most of the work before Friday evening.

+ My dearest Diana had her 21^st birthday party.
– She had it at a bar and so I couldn't go.
+ Instead, my Ma took me shopping and then we went out for dinner.

Saturday
+ My new bed was delivered early the next morning.
– The bed is a lot higher than I expected because they used a different box spring in the showroom at the store.
+ I love my new bed.

+ My long-time family friend Lorraine was turning 21 and had her birthday party at her home.
– I felt really old and because there were so many people there, I didn't get to spend much time with Lorraine.
+ It was my first time out at social gathering in a while since my foot has been giving me problems.

Sunday
+ I managed to get another appointment for a knee MRI this time.
– The appointment was at a hospital a half-hour away from my house and it was at 4 a.m.
+ I got a call saying they don't think there's a tumor in my knee.

+ I went to Guelph.
– I spent almost the entire time completing an ecological observation on Canada geese in a soccer field by the university's arboretum.
+ I got to spend the afternoon with Lyndsay, one of my favourite people at Guelph.

Where Ro seems to go, there will be a blow

Blow up that is, and this war of words did not fall short to the legacy. As we all know from having this story shoved in our faces, Rosie O'Donnell was upset that Elisabeth Hasselbeck did not defend her when being accused of calling U.S. troops "terrorists". EH kindly shrieked out, "You are an adult, and I'm not going to be the person for you to explain your thoughts. ... Defend your own insinuations."

I know this story has been everywhere and you might be sick of hearing about it. But I have a couple of things to say so just bear with me.

1. Why didn't they roll to commercials? After reading through Ro's blog, she did not leave "The View" because she couldn't stand three more weeks of pro-Republican bullshit but because she felt the producers of the show set her up for this confrontation. After co-host Joy Behar repeatedly tried to cool the situation down, a split screen appeared as if the two women were boxers facing off before a big match. Ridiculous! I'm asking the same question as Joy did at the end of the Hot Topics segment: "Who is directing the show?"

2. Why is Ro considered eccentric/controversial? I still don't understand this… I keep coming across those words as if being an intelligent liberal thinker is an odd thing. I can't even understand how someone could not see that Ro is a good-hearted person who's standing up for what's right. I wonder if more people would respect this woman if she weren't a fat dyke. Ro is right, damnit!!

3. Why was this all such a big deal? U.S. troops are terrorists. I'm sure they don't realize this for the most part. But they are. Now, please shut the fuck up and hear me out at least before you get all Republican on my ass and start leaving me curse-filled comments about how I should burn in hell for having brown-skin and therefore being a member of Al Qaeda. What is a terrorist? A terrorist is, according to dictionary.com, "a person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism." What is terrorism? Terrorism is "the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes." U.S. troops are terrorists.

In any case, "The View" will suffer in ratings after this incident. I've tried to tune in once or twice but the conversation has seemed to have fallen into dumbass banter. With Meredith Viera, Star Jones, and now Rosie gone, all the show is left with is the not-so-comical comedy of Joy Behar, the unforgettable… [I'm sorry, what's her name again? Elisabeth Hussyback?]…the unforgettable blonde bitch with backward opinions and an annoying voice [Okay, EH is pretty damn forgettable. I mean, she started off on "Survivor"… that says a lot.], and [speaking of annoying voices…] the legendary Baba Wawa. [Sorry, miss, I know you're 78-years-old but your idiosyncratic speech with its rounded "R" is as fucking irritating as a bad case of herpes or Donald Trump.]

J'Adore Dior

I'm not sure why but I think I want to hug Hedi Slimane. Despite receiving negative reviews for his spring collection, Hedi seems to have pulled up his socks and got his ass on track. I think I want every single item in Dior Homme's fall collection.

Here are some of my favourite outfits:

This question just — okay, not just — came to mind: Why are these models so fugly? I know, being very tall and skinny is most important for runway but there must be better looking people who are very tall and skinny. This is all very confusing to me. I mean, these models — with an exception of a select few [the ones displaying the outfits above who actually look like models] — are borderline hideousities. It's upsetting, really. And I'm not being horribly superficial either. Some are getting paid very well for a job that they do not deserve.

At least Hedi knows how to work it out!

For a look at the entire collection: http://men.style.com/fashion/collections/F2007MEN/complete/thumb/CDMEN

All of these photographs were taken by Marcio Madeira.

Oh God, I've become one of them...

Not much has been up since I've moved back from Paris. With a series of unfortunate events occurring to my body, I have turned to the tube over the bottle. Television has not been a part of my life for about five years to the surprise of my friends simply due to the insane amount of drama that filled my everyday happenings. However, now that I'm nearly drama-free and almost immobile, I love TV. Heroes, the Ellen Degeneres Show, One-Tree Hill, Video on Trial, Grey's Anatomy, Tyra Show, Traveler, Desperate Housewives, as well as reruns of Fame and Beverly Hills 90210, and who could forget Oprah. All in all, the list goes on and on but to top off this already horrible newly formed addiction is my fascination for the reality television show. Tonight was an important night for two of the biggest reality shows with the Cycle 8 finale of America's Next Top Model and the semi-finals of American Idol.

This season I was extremely impressed by Renee but hoped Natasha would take home the title of Top Model. Sure, one's a bit "old" in the face and the other is a little bit of a weirdo, respectively. Nevertheless, Renee has taken gorgeous photos week after week and Natasha has this drive in her that's made her go from just another wannabe to a serious contender. I would have been satisfied seeing the blonde bombshell take it home but I, particularly, wanted Natasha to win because she seems like a genuine sweetheart – unlike, Jaslene who is a bitch. I admit, Jaslene does photograph fierce but for some reason her massive chin and horse-like teeth always distract me. Oops, was that mean? I guess she's not the only bitch in town. Regardless, that bitch won. That's right, "[she] may not be the girl next door but [she is] the girl from the hood" and, with clavicles that could be mistaken for daggers, Miss. Cha Cha is now America's next top model.

Oh, but don't worry! My television viewing experience only got worse when nine p.m. rolled around and I switched the channel to Idol. I think my jaw actually dropped when I heard Seacrest announce that Melinda Doolittle would not be competing in the finals next Tuesday. Being compared to a young Tina Turner, Melinda was perhaps the most decent voice Idol has seen since Fantasia. Jordin does seem like a great girl and I get it. I heard the constant echoing, "But she's only 17 years old!" Perhaps, that's an indication that she should hold off for a few years before trying to set up a record deal. So she can, you know, work on staying in key for an entire song. At first, I was thankful that Blake offers something new and refreshing from the typical high-note belting I associate American Idol with; however, there's only so many times I can listen to this dude insert beatboxing for the sake of it rather than to improve the song. Where the hell is Sanjaya Malkar when you need him? No, that was a joke [and by the way, I think the Sanjaya jokes have been over done. Please stop, you'll only end up seeming like a racist homophobic piece of shit if you continue, k?] Blah, blah, BLEGH…WTF is going on tonight, AHH I'm so mad…SO MAD!! Stop. But then I think to myself, "Oh God, I've become one of them…"

Earth Day 07

Each and every year, around the world, 22 April marks Earth Day. It is a day to inspire environmental awareness and appreciation. According to Santa Barbara, California Community Environmental Council:

The story goes that Earth Day was conceived by Senator Gaylord Nelson after a trip he took to Santa Barbara right after that horrific oil spill off our coast in 1969. He was so outraged by what he saw that he went back to Washington and passed a bill designating April 22 as a national day to celebrate the earth.

The first Earth Day was celebrated in 1970 by 20 million participants.

We, as human beings, may be the greatest specie to have roamed on this earth but let us not forget that we are nothing without this earth. The pressures to live a more glamorous life, buy expensive things, have large houses, drive sexier cars, and whatnot, leave us completely wrapped up in our day-to-day goings and unaware of the damage we are doing to the Earth and indirectly to ourselves, our children, and future generations.

I know, I know. I bet you're thinking, "Yeah, great! I cannot afford to buy an electric car. I don't have time to go plant a damn tree. And, after this winter, like hell I'm giving up my snow blower"? I'm not asking any for any of these things because I feel the same. What I am asking for are small changes.

In Elizabeth Rogers' The Green Book, she writes about "little things that make a big difference" in changing the environment. One of those simple things you can do is to reduce your use of paper napkins to just one a day. "Napkins make a huge difference. We use 2 200 of them a year, per person on average. Six a day. So if we all gave up one napkin a day, we could save a billion pounds of paper waste … from going to landfills a year." She also says, "If everyone left their receipts in the machine, it would save a roll of paper more than 2 billion feet long—enough to circle the equator more than 15 times."

There are so many things that we can do to save energy as well as money. Friday, on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Simran Sethi presented several money-saving/energy-saving options we can switch in the house. Simran explained that most people don't know that plugged-in appliances and electronics use energy even if they're turned off. "We're spending all this money to power things that are in the off position," she says. "We call it vampire standby power." To cut your electricity costs, Simran suggests plugging in your electronics to the Smart Power Strip, which retails for 32.95USD. Then, when you turn off the power strip, all the items plugged into it will also power down. She says, "I love this thing."

[And I love you, Simran. This woman completely blows me away and I have so much respect for her and her work. Simran Sethi is an award-winning journalist who produced and anchored the news for MTV Asia, co-created the MTV India news division, and developed programming for the BBC and Doordarshan through her independent production company SHE TV. She hosted Ethical Markets and is a contributing author of the book Ethical Markets: Growing the Green Economy. She is currently the host of TreeHugger News. Love 'er.]

To celebrate Earth Day, I hope you'll all try to make some small changes in your daily habits. Here are ten ways www.earthday.ca recommends to help the environment:

1. Park It: Leave your car at home for a day (or a week or a month) and try walking or biking. If work is too far away to walk, take public transit or carpool.
   One city bus eliminates the emissions of 40 cars.
2. Shut Down: Turn off the lights, the computer and the TV when they are not in use.
   Using only highly efficient and money saving appliances can reduce the electricity consumption of an average household to one tenth of the US average.
3. Where's The Beef At?: Try eating meat-free at least one day a week.
   A meat-based diet requires seven times more land than a plant-based diet. Livestock production is responsible for more climate change gasses than all the motor vehicles in the world.
4. Eat It: Choose foods produced organically, locally and in season.
   Support your regional farmers & farming industry: buying locally and in season is better for the environment than buying foods that have been shipped hundreds of kilometers to your local market.
5. Let It Rot: Put a composter in your backyard or use your green bin to reduce household waste.
   Composting organics has two key benefits: it reduces the amount of waste going to landfills and when added to your garden, helps nourish soil and plants.
6. Don't Be Idle: Turn off your car's engine if stopped for more than 10 seconds.
   If every driver of a light duty vehicle avoided idling by five minutes a day, collectively, we would save 1.8 million litres of fuel per day, almost 4500 tonnes of GHG emissions, and $1.7 million in fuel costs each day (assuming fuel costs are $0.95/L).
7. Keep Your Eye on the Temp: Set your thermostat above room temperature in the summer and below room temperature in the winter.
   For each degree you adjust, you can save five per cent on your utility bill and one per cent on your energy use.
8. Brighter Ideas: Replace incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs (CFLs).
   A CFL uses only 25 per cent as much energy as an incandescent bulb and lasts 10 times longer.
9. Don't Dump It: The simple act of recycling has more impact on the environment that the average Canadian thinks.
   The amount of wood and paper North Americans throw away each year is enough to heat five million homes for 200 years.
10. Tell Someone: This is a great opportunity to brag.
    Tell someone what you're doing to make the world a better place. Support the cause. Encourage them to get involved too!

Happy Earth Day!

Toronto

... that's where I'll be tomorrow. (:

I'll miss Paris but saying goodbye has never been so easy. Heh, I guess this means I'm growing up.

I'll miss you, Paris

"You can't fake this. Only imitate this." Young Love is blasting through my headphones. I'm wearing black lounge pants and an expressionless expression. It's late. The room feels heavy, I feel light, and the lingering question "why do all good things come to an end?" feels like it's appearing again.

Last night, la maison had a goodbye dinner. Potluck. The enchiladas cleared my sinuses for a moment's relief of my cold. There was wine. Lots and lots of red wine. And white. At least 15 bottles were empty halfway through the evening. I didn't drink and my teeth didn't turn blue. Paula made a slideshow. It was filled with unsuiting song selections and memoriable pictures of the semester's random happenings and key events. The slideshow made me realize: "it's going to come to a close, it's time to move on again." They're decent people. The people of la maison. Even the ones who've driven me to annoyance at times. Jessica smiled and walked pass me during mingling time - she doesn't want me. Tipsy girls put their arms around me and their faces got closer and closer as the room revolved around and around and around for them.

When I got back to my room, I sat on my bed. Uh oh. It was thinking time again. I turned to look at my desk. My very messy desk at moment. Well, most of the time. That's where Lucas sat the night I didn't fall in love. I haven't heard from him in a week. My time is almost up and I wondered if I'd see him again. I felt okay.

Sleep, sleep, slee- David and Sam came back from the club. Drunk. The usual. They're like an embarrassing clumsy - and stress clumsy - drunk pair. Love. That night proved that they really do just sleep sometimes.

The this morning, I got up early. It was raining. I'm back from the store. The sun shines. I checked my e-mail in the study room. Lucas e-mailed me. This made everything worse. He keeps his word. I'm not used to people doing this for me. People don't apologize to me for not seeing me in a couple of days. People don't make me promises to see me early next week. Lucas is special. He's a good one. He's the first person I'll have to thank the next time I fall in love. Because the next time will be for real. He taught me never to settle again. I hope I haven't spoken too soon. Regardless, I'll miss him.

I'll miss my baker. I'll miss jumping over the turnstills in la metro. I'll miss my balcony. I'll miss Paris in the wintertime, springtime, and its non-chalant attitude toward being on time. I'll miss Place D'italie. I'll miss watching people hurdle themselves onto the RER. I'll miss being stared at for looking like a mix-breed gyspy. I'll miss Harvir and his unknowingly funny statements and desire to be James Morisson's number one look-alike. I'll miss the macroons and the tarte fraise. I'll miss being able to see la Tour Eiffel or l'Arc de Triomphe on any given day of the week. I'll miss the café machiato from the coffee machine in the gallery of la maison. I'll miss la maison. I'll miss Linda and her odd words. I'll miss having no idea what people are saying when they speak too quickly and scream at me randomly in anger. I'll miss being able to smoke without thinking of my blackening lungs. I'll miss having to smoke in the bathroom to hide the fact I smoke from my roommate. I'll miss my roommate David. I'll miss cheap Bordeaux wine that tastes like the night. I'll miss Pizza Novena, Café Beaubourg, and the office of Robert Norman. I'll miss Jean-Manuel and his charming French ways. I'll miss those tiny pink facial tissues and the embarrassment they brought me when I have to pull them out in public. I'll miss the beautiful faces. I'll miss half-Nutella, half-hummus baguette nights. I'll miss having the freedom to do as I please. I'll miss going to school for myself and living for myself. I'll miss the French lifestyle. I'll miss you, Paris. Je t'aime, Paris. xx

It's Like a Lion

Time is always with us

But it is free.

Time isn't rthymic

But it tells a story.

Time is always moving

Like a heart, some say.

Like a lion, I say.

Time can stand still.

Time takes its time

For the important stuff.

Time will teach us lessons

Whether we like it or not.

God plays with Time

But Time plays with Fate.

And when your time is up,

You can't be taking a raincheck

Or call to say you'll be late.

"The Ticket Did Not Print"...

ENGLAND. I think this trip was definitely different than all the other times I've stayed in the UK. It felt as thought I was visiting a place of my childhood. I didn't realized how much I've changed over the past few years, neither could my family, until I was there. | EUROSTAR. The Thursday night before I planned to leave, I found a cheap flight with British Airways that literally sold out while I was frantically trying to book a ticket. I was supposed to be meeting Jean-Manuel in just over an hour at Costes [btw: once again, I'm sorry for getting there over an hour late... I did not stand you up!] and I still didn't have a flight ticket. I booked with Eurostar. [Why am I always rushing?] The journey that Saturday morning, however, was not rushed at all and I got to Greenhithe on time with my red duffle bag and broken H&M $7 sunnies. Yes, I just said sunnies. | GRANDMA'S 70^th SURPRISE PARTY. I rushed to get a ticket for a reason. My family was throwing my Grandma a small surprise party for her 70^th birthday. I managed to get there just before the guests arrived. It was nice to see everyone and be there to celebrate the event. My Grandma kept saying how she's never had a surprise party in her life. I was happy to have been there. | BLUEWATER. I really love that place. The sheer size of the multi-level parking lot of this massive shopping centre alone makes the place bitchin'. I've been there twice before but I couldn't remember specific stores too well. British youth are brand whores and I - I wish there was no such thing as currency exchange rates. Nandos chicken is delicious and I got to see Santa Fe where my Uncle Steven and his wife Tanya salsa dance. | CENTRAL LONDON. I want to work/live there. Actually, I'll probably have to work in order just to live there. I got to do all the touristy things that I haven't done since I was a small boy. I got to learn the ways of the tube as well. (It's a lot smaller and cleaner than la metro.) I saw: Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, New and Old Bond Street, Big Ben, St. James' Park, the London Wheel, Oxford Circus, Tower Bridge, Leicester Square. | GRANDMA'S HOUSE. Going back to my Grandma's house filled me with nostalgia. This house has been part of my childhood – I even lived there for a while. While there, I went for a walk with my Grandma and I finally felt the connection I wanted to feel with her. Although we love each other greatly, I have found it difficult to continue a conversation with her. Now, things seemed different. Maybe because I am older and she feels it is easier to talk to me now? Not sure. I liked the feeling. I also liked being there because of her cooking. If there's one thing that house will always remind me of is her amazing dishes. | CHURCH. I went to mass with Tanya. I felt good to be back in a church. I don't want to lose my relationship with God ever. | THE JACKET. I saw the sexiest poka – dot navy blue short cut overcoat at Top Man. I want it. It's expensive but worth it and I want. At least, I think it's expensive. Maybe I'm cheap, or not an economical fuck-up? | HOLLY AND LAWRENCE. My little cousins Holly and Lawrence are polar opposites. Holly, age 8, is shy and quiet. Lawrence, age 5, is loud and outspoken. I love them both so much. They're such sweet children. I finally got to be the beloved young uncle figure and I love it. I want children one day. | LEEDS. What a young hipster-filled northern city. The influence of the university is definitely felt its modernity. I was glad to see Kendra and her new friends. She seems the same but very different now. I hadn't seen her since our trip to Montreal. | OCEANA. While in Leeds, we went to the cinema, several cafes and restaurants, and to a nightclub called Oceana. It was very cool and very big. It remineded me of a casino. [I've never actually been to a casino and don't really want to.] Kendra finished her assignments and was now on break, and so she could prove to me that I'm not necessarily always the bad one. I saw but did not get to go into Halo Nightclub. The concept of that place still seems perverse to me. | My trip to England was a lot, a lot of fun. I'm already hoping to go back early next month.

..et.com/album/slideshow/wrapper_getyourown.gif" style="float:right;border-width: 0;" >