Friday, January 26, 2007

le mix

i feel like i'm getting sick. or on the verge of it. i hate that. i want to drink some neocitran but the kettle broke. i tried microwaving some water but that made the water taste like vomit. so i might try boiling some on the stove soon.

i'm tired right now. we went out last night. not a big group of us. just my closer friends: david, ceilidh, katrina, and kate. a couple of the graduate students in the house went with us too. (i just found out mike is leaving the house in a week... i thought he said he was staying for a month longer... which makes sense since i've been here for almost a month.) we went to the mix club. it was huge. david got... so so so drunk. like unbelievably drunk. it was pretty bad. i think i've mentioned that he gets drunk every night and when he's really drunk he cannot really speak (sounds like he's had a stroke). but last night was the worst. and he even said it. like he couldn't speak properly, he kept falling, it looked like he didn't knwo where he was, he kept like grabbing hold of the girls in our group. one of the grad students is a german girl named judith. he kept trying to kiss her and mess up her hair. then he vanished. lol i didn't really dance much. we kept getting separated from each other and most of the night was spend looking for each other through the crowds. we stayed until 4 am. (clubs here don't reallly close until morning) in the coat check line david started to like grab and shake katrina. and she's so small. lol luckily ken pulled him aside. i didn't know whether to stop him or let him shake her because i didn't know if she cared or not seeing as we're friends but she cared. when we were leaving and i'm like "wait...where's david, kate?" and she says "well, he's not in front of us so i guess he's still downstairs. i'm like "we can't just LEAVE him here!!" so i went back downstairs and ceilidh came too. we found him. he was just aimlessly standing by the stairs staring out. lol he was walking in front of me on the stairs and he seriously fell ever few seconds. (someone is staring at me right now and making me feel uncomfortable ANYWAY gr) we had to go in three separate taxis so i went in the first on with martin, katrina, and abby.

when i got back to la maison i wanted to buy m&ms and a machiato so i did. i didn't eat the m&ms. thankfully, my skin is going insane... ugh. well, not insane. just not good enough. anyway, david arrived afterward with the german girl, judith, and ken. omg. lol when saying bonne nuit, he kept kissing her goodbye on the cheek and she's like you have to take care of him. lol what was i suppose to do other than put him to bed? lol. anyway, he changed and went to sleep so i washed my face. drank tons of water. and brushed my teeth because i realized i smoked last night (i know... lol i shouldnt have and i said i wouldn't b/c i was sick). while i'm brushing the lights go out. lol he turned off the fuse instead of the lights in the room. anyway, i rinse, stumble through the darkness into bed, and go to sleep. i hear the crinkling of a water bottle in my sleep. suddenly, i feel like someone jumped over me and my bed. then i hear a noise and see a light shining into the room. so i go and look down the entrance hallway and david had opened our door lol. i think because he couldn't figure out how to turn on the lights since he switched off the fuse. then he went into the bathroom. so i closed the door and went back into bed. then i feel like someone has sat next to me on my bed. lol then he started jumping up and down on my bed while sitting if that makes sense. goes back into the bathroom and started making sex noises. the tap begins to run and he comes out. i'm like "um, david, did you go out somewhere? the door was open..." and he's like "um, no. but people came into our room." "what? people came into our room?" "yeah! they just came into our room somehow in the middle of the night." "which people, david?" "nevermind, it's cool." "david, someone opened the door and came into our room?" "yeah, man." "WHAT?!" "it's cool. it's cool." "david, the shower is running." "no, it's the tap." "okay, the tap is still running." "yeah, man." "why...?" "cos of the thing i did." "what?" "nevermind, it's cool." "um, okay." then he went back into the bathroom and turned off the tap. he comes out and sits on my bed and starts with the noises. "david? what are you doing?" the noises stop. "nothing." "why aren't you asleep?" "because of the people." "the ones that came into our room?" "yeah... they tried to drown me. did you see them?" "no one was in our room, david. i would have known if someone came in." "my bed is soaked." so i get up and check and sure enough his bed was like drenched. i'm patting the sheets and hoping the liquid wasn't related to the noises i heard earlier. i was just water. probably the crinkling noise i heard earlier. i tell him that he must have dropped his water bottle in his sleep and no one was in our room. he responds with "but what about the people who were in our room?" "i don't know... " "that makes - that makes two people who don't know. me and you." lol then he gets dressed and says "i have to go sleep with someone - i mean, in someone else's bed tonight cos mine is wet."

lol i recapped the entire night for him this afternoon when i woke up. we went to get crepes with abby and katrina, then to the boulangrie. i actually love how i look in the-morning-after state. (especially with big black sunglasses.) we're going to the cinema tonight so see hors de prix with audrey tautou. i didn't like amelie but for some reason i like audrey. à la prochaine.

outside le mix.

avec Abby.

Katrina, Ceilidh, Abby, moi.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Les Marais

Olivier, my architecture prof, took our class to Le Marais in the 4eme. This area is known for being the Jewish and gay district, though it is also dense in historical architecture. The tour focused on the structure of the hotel and passage-ways.

The Colonne de Juillet is a momument to the Revolution of 1830. It stands in the center of the Place de la Bastille. The column is engraved in gold with the names of Parisians who died during the revolution. The gold-covered statue at the top is called the Génie de la Liberté/ the Spirit of Freedom. It also appeared on old French ten-franc coins. Today, demonstrations still occur at the Colonne de Juillet.

The Hôtel de Sens is a city palace. It was originally owned by the archbishops of Sens. The building is in between late Gothic and early Renaissance style, and now houses the Forney art library.

St. Peter and St. Paul's Catholic Church. Absolutely beautiful.


The Place des Vosges is the oldest square in Paris. It was originally called the Place Royale. The Place des Vosges was built by Henri IV from 1605 to 1612. A true square (140 m x 140 m), it was the first program of royal city planning, built on the site of the Hôtel des Tournelles and its gardens. At a tournament at the Tournelles, a royal residence, Henri II was wounded and died. Catherine de Medicis had the Gothic pile demolished and moved to the Louvre.

Mhm, that's me in center with the fur top coat.

And this part in specific would be the place where I saw a girl who must have been a couple of years younger than me and was born to be a model:

musée des arts et des métiers

paris certainly seems to love museum! musée des arts et des métiers was quite interesting. It was created off the basis of l'Encyclopédie (or dictionnaire raisonné des sciences, des arts et des métiers). I liked the room with the everyday technology (different cameras and televisions). Here are some photos from our visit there:


Machine de Marly (1684). This machine was built by a carptener-mechanist named René Sualem (aka Rennequin). It was used for raising water from the Seine to flow through the fountains and ornamental lakes in the gardens of Versailles. The machine is famous for its expectional size and the mahcinery it incororates.


Microscopie électronique à transmission Siemens (1973). The microscope was used for studying cancerous viruses and normal and diseased human cells then for research on various types of animal cells.


Lavoisier's Lab.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

le nix nox

So apparently I'm easily convinced because I ended up going to that boat club event. I wasn't going to go. I showered and had planned a nice restful night in chilling and listening to music. Maybe Feist and some champagne. But then Ceilidh convinced me otherwise. Okay, well, it didn't take too much convincing since everyone looked so incredibly nice last night. I managed to get ready, pre-drink, and leave with the first group for la metro all within 30 minutes.

The boat was called le nix nox. Slightly humorous? I thought so. It was on La Seine just outside the Bercy metro station. I had a lot, a lot, a lot of fun last night - it's 13h30 and I just woke up. Guys didn't have to wait outside on the street for this one. I was glad to hear this because David is in Luxembourg till Monday and I didn't want to be the only guy from our group and have to wait alone outside. (Ken from la maison and Steve did come though.)

They play Top 40 mostly. Totally fine with me!! Drinks were hella cheap for Paris (€2 for biere and €3 for hard liquor). haha I keep speaking Franglish. The people were really friendly and social. So many people talked to me in the lines and no one asked me if I was a gyspy (: . Anyway, people were so generous with their cigarettes. Oh, while on the topic of cigarettes... I smoke. :O lol. Only at a club or a bar and not in Canada. We have a system. The girls will let a guy approach them, give them a cigarette and lit it for them, they take a few puffs, subtly hand it over to moi, then they finish it off when I return it to them and we leave for the dancefloor again. haha muah!

Even though Canadians are better dancers, I've found. Okay, MUCH better. I do like how the French are just free and fun with their dancing. Guys dance too and they dance WITH the girl. They don't stand, hover behind her, and then go for the bump and grind when they have enough confidence built up. People don't really grind in general here to be honest.

Since drinks were so cheap, I decided to get tipsy. I pre-drank an entire bottle of champagne and then had 4 screwdrivers in about 15 minutes. Only 4 you say? Where are my usual other 3 drinks for the typical 7 to get me drunkedy drunk? They mix drinks differently here. Alcohol is the majority of the cup and then orange juice is added. Love it!!! hahaha. I cannot believe someone actually said "My rum and coke is too strong. It's like there's double. It's like it should be called double rum and coke." [OH, Stepahnie's signature drink! lmao]

To be completely honest, whenever I seem off balance when drunk, it's usually because I don't care to try to balance myself. I feel stuff but my balance is pretty good if I tried to keep composed. I didn't feel that tipsy until I fell to the floor when I got back to my room. I'm so glad David is gone for the weekend and did not have to see that. Hm lol. Though come to think of it he's worse. He seems like he's had a stroke when he tries to talk while drunk. It's actually kinda scary. lol I tried to sober up with baguette and humus. Didn't really help but t'was rather YUM, bébé.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Studying in Beautiful Surroundings

Dear Diary,

HA! I'm just kidding. Anyway, lol, it's been a while. Or a couple days. Which seems like quite a bit of time because a lot has happened.

Yesterday we went to Muséem National D'Historie Naturelle to see La Grande Galerie De L'Evolution. It was pretty cool actually. The building itself is quite astonishing. The outside looks like an old European school with a massive garden. But from the inside, the place is very modern looking. The ceilings are so high. I didn't see any mongooses though. Pft…


Classes have began. My classes with Dominique are interesting but not because of him lol. Frankly, he's quite confusing and slightly boring. (Though I am a tough nut to crack.) In any case, his first lecture was basically suppose to sum up the economic history of French agriculture. Naturally, he decided to start with PRE-HISTORIC MAN. Ugh. Our classroom isn't really a classroom. It's the banquet hall off the side of the lobby. It's weird to have class downstairs from where you live. For film, Alice Carven is my prof. She's lived here for 15 years but lived in NYC and North Carolina prior. She's so nice! Her husband (who I thought was gay haha) also teached at AUP. He's stylish and smart and seems like he'll teach us a lot about the city. We had a wine-and-cheese after the lecture yesterday to get to know the professors and each other. Free wine. I don't really like French cheeses to be honest. The smell is so strong that I want to vomit. Pérdon. But it's the coldhearted truth.

[a note for my ego: i was crouching and leaning against the wall. i am the tallest in the photo... except ken behind the bookshelf. hmph.]

After dinner last night we all went out. I didn't really feel like going and assumed the night would be totally NOT fun in comparison to a Toronto club. (Oh, btw: I must have my birthday party this year in NYC. Seriously. Yeah, def. Plan ahead. Save up, do what you must. I want it to actually happen. NYC. For October 9th. Okay?) We predrank in Maggie's and Ali's room. Turns out the French friend I made in the kitchen speaks English and is actually from Vancouver. His name is Mike. Ken, the Alberta-native from my hallway, joined the Guelph group too. We took the RER and planned to go to the Erasmus party at Club Mix but at the last minute Mike convinced us to go the one at Planet Hollywood on the Champs D'Elysee. On La Metro our group was intoxicated and so we became the rowdy group. We did meet a Chippendale though. He seemed very angry at first by our outright Anglophone-ness. But it turns out, as he would later explain as we changed trains, that he simply wanted to speak to us. He looked like the model Tyson but he was slightly shorter than me. It's ridiculous. I was jealous. Ugh. Anyway, lol, I got to see L'Arc de Triomphe ! It's my favourite tourist attraction in Paris. It's just so posh and upscale there. So that was rad and stuff lol. Mike couldn't get us in straight away with his connection because we were a group of 20 but the line up was short. When you go inside you can put on a tag that says your native country's name. Clearly, I chose Jamaïque lmao. (Don't worry, Kendra, I represented !) The people at the desk were like "Um, peut-être l'Espagne?" "NON, Jamaïque, Jamaïque!!" haha. The line up for coat check was like 30 minutes. Some randoms tried pushing their way to the front but Maggie called security on their asses. Mike was telling us about a fight the broke out last week when he was in the line and another on Halloween where he knocked this guy out in front of L'Arc de Triomphe dressed up as Fred Flintstone lolol. So funny!! I got Screwdrivers. Apparently, in Paris they do not use shot glasses to measure the amount of alcohol to add and if they like you, you get a bit more. The bitchy bartender liked me thankfully. (: I got to talk to a bunch of people from my group that I haven't really seen or got an opportunity to speak to yet. Usually there's only 5 of us who go out – David, Katrina, Abby, Ceilidh (pronounced Kaylee), and moi of course! Afterward, I decided to find the others on the dancefloor. We danced for hours and I LOVED it! This girl from Spain came to talk to me for a while. Unfortunately, I was unable to convince her that I'm actually not from Jamaïque but that I am actually Spanish. She went back to dance with her group. Shitty. But we did manage to meet a group from Ireland, including LOL Irish Dan. Quite a hilarious chap, I must say. In Parisian clubs, it looks like guys usually dance on the platforms and try to show off their moves. I was walking past a platform and Mike pulled me up. Man, dancing on elevated surfaces is SO much fun! Trouble broke out though and I didn't even notice. When the spotlight turned onto me, I was blinded and at that same time a drunkard started throwing himself on Jess and squeezing her boob but Mike and Irish Dan started fighting him back. At the same time as THAT was happening, a group of 6 dudes started grabbing Cintia. Where was I? Dancing my ass off to Bob Marley. I had no idea what was happening but everything worked out cool. (Note to self: I owe Mike 5 € for the cab ride home.) When I got back, I took a hot hot shower and then heard knocking on the door. It was David and he lost his key. (Be borrowed my key cause he wanted to do something after he got back. How mysterious. Not to worry because he ended up finding his key. But then I lost my key when he returned it to me. But then I found it. So, all in all, fear not.) He was so drunk! He could speak and at the club, he ended up grinding… well, "grinding"… on two of the girls from our group. It was more of a drunken pelvis collision, followed by swaying offbeat. Katie's eyes kept rolling back when their bodies touched. I think that was the icing on the cake.

Today, I slept in till 3h30. Waw. We went to Le Louvre from 6 to 10 pm though so the day was not wasted. It's… GIANTIC. I heard it was big but it's b-i-g. We got through half of one floor and that's supposedly an accomplishment as most people only get through a quarter of a floor. The group I went with saw the Italian paintings, the Spanish paintings, and the French paintings in the Denon gallery. T'was mighty snazzy. I think I like the Italian painting the best. When I was looking at the subtle details in the Italian works, they were amazing. The French paintings were much larger and focused on war scenes. Oh, I saw the Mona Lisa and La Venus De Milo. The Mona Lisa was much smaller than the other paintings in the gallery but I thought it was beautiful nonetheless. I don't think it's overrated like everyone says either. I loved it. I want to go back and check out some of the African and Islamic artwork too. Anyway, bonne nuit/goodnight!

Monday, January 8, 2007

La Tour Eiffel

last night we all went downtown to see La Tour Eiffel. i've only ever seen it during the day and wasn't impressed. it was absolutely beautiful during the night. i couldn't believe how large it was. the coolest thing happens too. at a certain time it starts to sparkle. i was able to capture the sparkling in some photos. we decided not to go up this time though. there weren't too many people cos supposedly january is slow for tourism in Paris. which suits me just dandy. there weren't many ppl trying to sell us things either which was nice. no one shot mechanical birds at me this time either!

afterward we went to a chinese restaurant. was pretty good. this tourist area was the only place i've heard english being spoken since we've got here. when we got back david, me, katrina, and abby watched Lucky Number Slevin in the lounge. it was twisted and lovely. then we tried to order a pizza but apparently everything is closed on sundays. we met a girl doing her masters here from montreal. she spoke english and was giving us tips on living in Paris.

Saturday, January 6, 2007

€0,87 champagne

the café is closed on weekends so we went to a nearby bakery to buy breakfast. it was alright since the prices there are actually very decent and the food is tasty and fresh. i had un chausson aux pomme.

dominique outlined several places we should check out around the university. we (david, katrina, abby, and myself) went about exploring Paris this afternoon. the buildings are so simple and beautiful here. i love the white stone with the black iron railings. i've also noticed that despite the large number of people, there streets show no sign of hustle-and-bustle like most metropolises.

we decided to take a break from walking and just relax. the Parisian lifestyle must be working its way into our lives already. we stayed there for hours but it didn't matter because life is about taking your time and just enjoying.

oh, I bought a monthly metro pass (carte d'orange) for €52,50.

i fear weight loss. i am eating less and exercising more with all this walking. ugh.

at the grocery store, we found €0,87 champagne. we each bought one for pre-drinking. i didn't feel like going out tonight so i didn't drink mine as of yet. i want my first experience at a Parisian discotech to be more than slightly WOW. i like WOW things, you see.

i finished my baguette and questionable French bottled water. A+

Friday, January 5, 2007

Arrival

Please ignore typos. The keyboards in France are different.

Now, there's no better place to begin than the beginning I suppose. The security measures were not as strict as I expected them to be. Minus the first check where I was nearly stripped searched before a queue of travelers. Fortunately, my pre-flight push ups were not needed.

While waiting in the boarding lounge, I thought I saw my group but thankfully I did not go up to them as they were, in fact, not my group. There were so many young people on my flight, including a Kendra look-alike. The girl seemed like an evil version of Kendra. She worn all black and had curly jet black hair, but she did smile a lot. Totally gorgeous. I overheard her telling a passenger sitting next to her that she is doing her masters in Paris but worked here over the past year. Wow!

Onto the rest of my flight though. It was the best flight I've ever taken. (Zoom Airlines btw.) While flying over Brighton, UK, I looked down and the entire city was illuminated by a bright orange light. It appeared as though we were flying over the world as it ended. lol No dramatics, promise. It appeared as though we were hovering over a land covered in molten lava and a blackened sea that came to an end. It was an amazing sight! Shortly after, at an altitude of 37 000 ft, France came into view. There were fewer lights than in Brighton. The land seemed as it was decorated in silver and bronze bulbs.

By now, the plane had already felt French as we picked up the majority of passengers in Montreal after leaving Toronto. It was a very Francophone journey.

When we arrived in Charles de Gaulle airport, I was prepared for masses of pickpocketers. The horror stories of this airport were clearly exaggerations of tired/bitter travelers. The air was cold when we stepped off the aircraft and said 6am. I walked on the runway toward the shuttle that awaited our arrival. The Kendra look-alike was spotted again. After collecting my luggage, I met the group outside in the lounge. We walked, then, to the RER station. Kendra's evil double was seen again and sadly for the last time… perhaps. Getting through the turnstiles with our luggage was a very difficult task indeed. You see, since most Parisians are waifs (thankfully!), and as such you must turn your suitcase on its side and then drag it under the bars. Good times! The RER is similar to what I remember of La Metro. I took a deep breath in while we were going down the escalator and finally was fully excited. I was in Paris.

My roommate, David, is quite friendly. He's older and is pretty social. His French is very good. I'm waiting for him to get back now. We're suppose to be going to a bar he's read about. It's minutes away from La Tour Eiffel in this chic young area downtown.

Back to my story though…Getting off the train was probably the most difficult part of the journey. My bulky suitcase did not make it very easy when it came to pulling it onto the platform. The woman behind me was in a hurry too. Waw! I had a burning sensation in my palms by the time we reached La Cité Universitaire. The place is gorgeous. I feel like I'm walking through a foreign film. Yayayaya!!

La Maison des Etudiants Canadien (MEC) is very modern. The Argentina House is better, but only because it's a palace lol. My room is quite small but I am thin so I'll be just dandy. There is a balcony like in Gwen's "Cool" video. The other students in the house are so friendly. Dominique, my professor, told us that it is seen as impolite not to greet someone in passing. I love that! I was overwhelmed by my proficiency in French while on the plane but I think I'll be alright by the end.

We walked to the mall to get food from the grocery store. It's weird how similar some things are to Canada. I just ate baguette, cheese, and an apple.

I decided to walk around the building and went to the kitchen. There were students from the University of Paris cooking. They were so friendly and warm. I wish I had stayed longer but I had to go. Just like I must now. Until next time. Sha la la le la…

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Latin Quarter

i need to buy a metro pass. people here seem to rely heavily on walking or La Metro. the underground system here is supposedly world famous for speed and efficiency. it's rather confusing to me still but hopefully that'll improve shortly.

last night, we, a group of 5 of us, took La Metro to the Latin Quarter. the latin quarter is the area near the University of Paris. the name derives from the latin language, which was widely spoken during the middle ages in and around the university. the latin quarter reminds me of an Arabian market in ways. It is filled with winding narrow streets that overflow with restaurants and bars. it is loud and vibrant. Ze Bar offered us drunk dancing waitresses and bartenders who wore oversize white trousers and face paint. [Oh, and I kid you not about the name of this establishment… it was actually called Ze Bar.] we had beers there and then walked down the street to Sangria 6C not too far away. it was much wilder than the first bar. the place was basically a dancefloor with tables surrounding it. there were a lot of horny fellows in the place. the insanely excited waiter brought us litre-sized mugs of Heineken beers.

we walked back to La Cité because La Metro had stopped for the night by this time. we stopped at Notre Dame and some of them posed like gargoyles while i smiled bashfully in the light mist that was falling. it's weird that we just stumble upon these famous buildings randomly. they're just part of the backdrop for the everyday Parisian i suppose. we peed in the washrooms of a very classy lounge. it was hot. the walk back somehow took two hours. i doubt i will ever need to take the Guelph transit to class again lol.

the sky is grey today. like yesterday. perhaps it is a theme? david and i are going to try to grab breakfast soon and some of us are going to venture out this afternoon.

oh, here's a photo of La Cité:

Poems

Hey. I've posted a collection of poems I've written over the past 3 years. They've all been copyrighted to AllPoetry.com. (Just saying... that wasn't suppose to sound presumptuous or anything, because most of these works seem... young... to me.)
30 March 2006
Two
two. you were there. i was here. thinking of you. dark night. cold night. cold heart. warm bodies. moving close. touch first. taste later. push now. pull now. deep penetration. energy radiates. tingling toes. rise and fall. smell of sex. smell of you. rest a while but gone before morning. two.
4 March 2006
Desperately
I am here
Missing what's missing.
A reflection of my wanting,
A temporal being
Reaching for the Spiritual
Searching for you in desperation.
In desperation, I dream;
Too afraid of the truth
I dream of the pretty lights
And you, so desperately…
15 October 2005
I'm In Love With You
But please don't tell me,
Where to go;
Cos hell's too far
From your heavenly body.

And please don't speak,
If you don't love me
The same way;
Cos my heart can
Only mend so much.

So what I'm saying is I love...

Um, I love
When you smile like that.
And your eyes,
Your eyes could devour me
With just one glance.

So what I'm saying is I love...
So what I'm saying is I love...
I'm trying to say

It's so hard to tell how much
I care;
Because,
Because infinite love is a
Hard figure to express.

Oh, please don't stand so close
Cos your breathe
Makes my heart race

And please don't speak so sweetly
Cos your soft talk
Makes things get oh so hard

Oh, no
Please don't tease me your lips
So soft and sweet
Just one kiss would only leave me
Wanting more

So bare with me and I will
Be there forever.

So just listen to what I'm saying
My Heart is in your hands
But my tongue is tangled up...
My Heart is in your hands
But my tongue is...

I'm in love with you.
8 Sept 2005
The Feeling of Yellow
Yellow plays a different tune,
It sings a lullaby,
A song of safety.

Yellow plays the warmest of warm,
It's sunshine and summer days,
Deepest of embrace.

Yellow plays like a child,
It's marshmallows and a mother's love,
A dream of infinite yesteryear.
24 Aug 2005
Time
Watch the time running
Run, run down your face.
Facing the façade before the inevitable,
Facing the little white lies.

Watch the time bleeding
Bleed, bleed from your eyes.
Eyes replaced by bloodsockets,
Eyes that could never really see.

Watch the time tick
"Tick, tock. Tick, tock," sings the clock.
Clocking away with its arrogant smirk,
Clocking away melodically and haunting us forever.
10 June 2005
The One
I am quiet
Yet my heart speaks volumes
Your smile transcends deep
Deep within me
Because I've never felt like this
I've never felt this way
Before

You're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've, that I've been waiting for…

Excuse the clichés
But you make me
All that I've ever wanted to be…

You think I don't care
You think I don't notice
But I'm just scared
And so mistaken…

But you're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've, that I've been waiting for

Every time I look at you
You make me feel this way
I feel I'll never feel like this
So come on, baby, come

Every time I close my eyes
I always seem to realize
How much you really mean to me
You really mean so much to me
Never underestimate
These unspoken words I advocate
For your body, soul, and affection

You're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've, that I've been waiting for…
You're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've been waiting for
The one I've been waiting for
The one I've been waiting for
Though I'm still so unsure…
3 Feb 2005
Runaway Island
Smoker's blues in this dark silhouette
Faded calls and misery sets
On to something else
Distracted minds
And forsaken lies

So I will run away
And so I will run…away
To the island of wonder
To the island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…
Everywhere I go….

Wasted hours
And wasted moments
Fall…
And this call of darkness
Keeps pounding harder
Keeps creeping longer
On to me

And I will run away
And so I will run…away
To the island of wonder
To the island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…
Everywhere I go….

Sweet surrender
Haven from my sorrow
Tears and falter

The island of wonder…
The island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…

So I will run away
And so I will run…away
To the island of wonder
To the island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…
Everywhere I go….
1 Feb 2005
Love Stalls
Distant eyes
Seem to wander off
More than often
Less than not.

Pleasant words
Of unhappy hearts
Mix to make us
Draw apart.

How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall…

Subtle surrender
To miserable confusion,
Irrelevant illusions
Allude unsuccessful relations

But
How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall…

Misunderstandings
Abide by the laws
Of time without care
Will lead us to fall

Just tell me…
How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall…

How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall?
1 Feb 2005
Now
I don't understand
That dark winter morning
Grey clouds and emptiness
Dry throat and light head
Woke up from that bad dream
To cold sweat and nightmare…

I need you now
Reach for me, promise me
That you will not for-
Sake me now
I need ya now…
22 Jan 2005
Not the One
I ain't broken hearted..
I'm not all alone.
But why am I so empty?
And left in thirst?

I need you now
Reach for me, promise me
That you will not for-
Sake me now
I need ya now…

Come for now,
Now I need you the most,
Before my heart stops beatin',
And my soul much much worse
Now….

I need you now
Reach for me, promise me
That you will not for-
Sake me now
I need ya now

Oh how I need you…
Now, I need you….
You…
I need you
I need you now
Can't you take a lil moment and just see,
Who I am and where I wanna be…
Can't you see what you have become,
We're nothing more than nothing less
You're not the one

So don't wrap your arms around me
Tell that you love you love me softly,
Coz you don't love me hardly
We're nothing more than nothing less
You're not the one

Tired eyes, drawn out words, and misery
Hanging on by no more than just a thread
Broken hearts, shatter souls, and cigarettes
We're nothing more than nothing less
You're not the one
28 August 2004
Morning Light
Bright light
Peaks quietly
Through the haze
Of this summer morning.

Bright eyes
Smile at me
As I turn
And face you.

White sheets
So pure and clean
Wrap around
Our warm bodies.

Bright smiled
I rise to dress
In this summer heat
And morning light.
24 August 2004
Summer Lovin'
Melted ice cream and this summer heat
No longer children but they're still mild and meek
Little girl eyes and pretty boy smile
Hearts that race with intrinsic love.
And boys always want what the good girls have
But will this naïve spirit give it to him
He speaks so softly with his hands
It hurts just a bit but she likes this pain.

Inside jokes and they laugh in vain
Summer will last forever or longer than spring
Flames will come and flames will go
But how do they know these friendships will last.
24 August 2004
This Place In Love
Big words with small meaning
Are what I'm filling my life with,
I suppose that's why I'm so empty.

Mystification and misunderstanding
Mixes with swirls of trepidation
Deep in the caverns my mind
Allowing me to feel everything
And nothing in this moment.

They say love is strong,
But then why am I so scared?
They say love can conquer all,
But then why am I so weak?
They say love can move mountains,
But then why can't I move?

Leaving me here.
I'm stuck here,
In this one place,
Pondering love and life
While you and the rest move on…
28 June 2004
Shots
Two shots of liquor,
One shot of smile,
Baby, you don't know
What I got in mind.

A lil romancing,
A lil champagne,
Oh! Your soft sweet tongue
Running all over the place.

You act unaware,
With your angelic fascade,
But I know ya no virgin
From the taste of your embrace.

Yes, you've got style,
Yes, you've got grace
With a devillish smirk,
And a coy lil wink.

The way you undress,
The way you move,
The way you make my heart
Go ba-doom-ba-doom-ba-doom!

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Paris

...That's where I'll be tomorrow. (: