Oh God, I've become one of them...

Not much has been up since I've moved back from Paris. With a series of unfortunate events occurring to my body, I have turned to the tube over the bottle. Television has not been a part of my life for about five years to the surprise of my friends simply due to the insane amount of drama that filled my everyday happenings. However, now that I'm nearly drama-free and almost immobile, I love TV. Heroes, the Ellen Degeneres Show, One-Tree Hill, Video on Trial, Grey's Anatomy, Tyra Show, Traveler, Desperate Housewives, as well as reruns of Fame and Beverly Hills 90210, and who could forget Oprah. All in all, the list goes on and on but to top off this already horrible newly formed addiction is my fascination for the reality television show. Tonight was an important night for two of the biggest reality shows with the Cycle 8 finale of America's Next Top Model and the semi-finals of American Idol.

This season I was extremely impressed by Renee but hoped Natasha would take home the title of Top Model. Sure, one's a bit "old" in the face and the other is a little bit of a weirdo, respectively. Nevertheless, Renee has taken gorgeous photos week after week and Natasha has this drive in her that's made her go from just another wannabe to a serious contender. I would have been satisfied seeing the blonde bombshell take it home but I, particularly, wanted Natasha to win because she seems like a genuine sweetheart – unlike, Jaslene who is a bitch. I admit, Jaslene does photograph fierce but for some reason her massive chin and horse-like teeth always distract me. Oops, was that mean? I guess she's not the only bitch in town. Regardless, that bitch won. That's right, "[she] may not be the girl next door but [she is] the girl from the hood" and, with clavicles that could be mistaken for daggers, Miss. Cha Cha is now America's next top model.

Oh, but don't worry! My television viewing experience only got worse when nine p.m. rolled around and I switched the channel to Idol. I think my jaw actually dropped when I heard Seacrest announce that Melinda Doolittle would not be competing in the finals next Tuesday. Being compared to a young Tina Turner, Melinda was perhaps the most decent voice Idol has seen since Fantasia. Jordin does seem like a great girl and I get it. I heard the constant echoing, "But she's only 17 years old!" Perhaps, that's an indication that she should hold off for a few years before trying to set up a record deal. So she can, you know, work on staying in key for an entire song. At first, I was thankful that Blake offers something new and refreshing from the typical high-note belting I associate American Idol with; however, there's only so many times I can listen to this dude insert beatboxing for the sake of it rather than to improve the song. Where the hell is Sanjaya Malkar when you need him? No, that was a joke [and by the way, I think the Sanjaya jokes have been over done. Please stop, you'll only end up seeming like a racist homophobic piece of shit if you continue, k?] Blah, blah, BLEGH…WTF is going on tonight, AHH I'm so mad…SO MAD!! Stop. But then I think to myself, "Oh God, I've become one of them…"