Blood Red Cherry

new

2008-01-08T16:16:00.001-08:00

i'm new. bright-eyed and bushy tailed. fresh and full of promise. full of potential. full of "Hi there, how are you?'s". waiting for the jaded evenings to come. waiting for the tone in my voice to change. i'm new.

I've never been a quitter

2007-09-18T23:41:00.000-07:00

...so how do you know when is it time to call it quits?

Morning Yearning

2007-09-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

i woke up early to complete silence. i made some tea. everything is still in tones of grey, everyone is still sleeping soundly. i took breakfast with some Feist and opened the window to a misty morning. the light is low, my heart is high, and i think i'm falling back in love with life.

The Hiatus

2007-09-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

It's over.
Lesson: Life moves on with or without you.

Ann Demeulemeester: Spring/Summer 2007

2007-08-04T11:13:00.000-07:00

For over two decades, Ann Demeulemeester has stayed true to herself, displaying the Belgian rocker chick look. With items that are long-lasting, in both style and durability, her Spring/Summer 2007 collection was no exception. The collection featured the concept of the urban poet, having cut-away men's vest with fading flowing blouses, and spelled out androgyny at its finest. Demeulemeester offers intelligent fashion in time dominated by sleaze.

Here are some of my favourite outfits from the collection:

All photo credits to Marcio Madeira.

Did the Danforthe

2007-08-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

I headed down to Greek Town last night to see my friend Joe Chammas perform. He played an acoustic set at Renaissance Cafe.

It was a good night out. A 3-chord angry chick played later on in the night and we ran into a middle-aged druggie on the street. Apologies, for the lack of footage of either of these shady characters.

Joe's sites:
http://www.soundclick.com/joechammas
http://www.myspace.com/joechammas

Pillow fight, anyone?

2007-08-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately to disappoint male readers but I'm actually talking about the PFL. Pillow Fight League, that is. Pillow fighting is making its way into the sporting world and gaining quite a lot of attention in pop culture, being called "a glimpse of the future of sport" by ESPN mag. Like any sport, the league has established official rules and guidelines which must be followed:

the Official PFL Rules

1.	Female pillow fighters only. No exceptions.

2.	Professional pillow fights are won via pinfall, surrender, or referee stoppage. If a pillow fight ends at the time limit with no winner, a winner is declared by a three-judge committee, using the traditional 10 point system. Pillow fighters are judged based on Style, Stamina, and the Eye of the Tiger.

3.	Pillow fighting is Fun. No biting, scratching, or hair pulling. Malicious intent and blatant disregard of your opponent's safety (or your own) may result in immediate suspension and/or dismissal from the League.

4.	Mouth guards, knee pads and elbow pads are mandatory.

5.	Bearing in mind Rule #3, most anything goes in a pillow fight, as long as there is a pillow at the point of contact. Preventing your opponent's offense by holding her pillow is not allowed.

6.	Pillow fighters must practice good sportswomanship. No rude, lewd, or suggestive behavior.

7.	A pillow is not a weapon. Deliberately compressing the pillow fibres to increase the density of the pillow is not allowed. Loading a pillow with any foreign object is strictly forbidden.

According to the PFL website, http://www.gopfl.com/ : "It's business is training women to become Professional Pillow Fighters in the PFL Arena, providing Entertainment for an audience, at PFL Live Events and at PFL Special Appearances." Don't take these fighters as a joke or they'll fight you... with a pillow?

Irvine

2007-07-26T01:12:00.000-07:00

Are you there?
Are you watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
They say you feel what I do
They say you're here every moment
Will you stay?
Stay 'till the darkness leaves
Stay here with me
I know you're busy, I know I'm just one
But you might be the only one who sees me
The only one to save me

//

Why is it so hard?
Why can't you just take me?
I don't have much to go
Before I fade completely

Summer classes

2007-07-23T12:58:00.000-07:00

It's summer and yet school has been so busy lately with the semester coming to an end. The profs have really shown no sign of mercy these past few months, loading us up with one thing after another. Naturally, they show no sign of easing up either. I'm totally stressed so I decided to take today off as a day to relax and reload. I've been working on a new song this morning. Metric's cover of Elliott Smith's "Between the Bars" is pretty much amazing - I recommend checking it out asap. Hm, I haven't had time to just hang out recently; maybe I should go for coffee with Steph... Honestly though, I love the school year [not just cos I'm a nerd at heart]. It's fun but hectic, and that's why I really think summers should just be summers. You know, like the ones when we were kids, the summers that seemed to last forever? [Yes, I was just channeling the chorus of "Summer of 69".] I fear that I won't have a proper summer break this year with the inevitability of schoolwork bleeding into September. Otherwise things are cool. Man, I should be a drama major for more than one reason.

She works hard for the money

2007-07-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

To say this ad is sexual is, perhaps, an understatement.

Angry F-O-B strikes back

2007-07-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

Ch, I ain't promiscuous... but I am mischievous. I admit it, I love to punk people. With the summer heat, school stress, and a little bit of boredom, I felt the need to get my mischief on. Not anything super devious, just a little fun and games, you know? So I had this great idea! A club I used to go to last summer has a guestbook on their website. The guestbook isn't frequently read - mostly because horny weirdos post stupid shit on it - so I was sure if my plan would work. In spite, I tried and it worked. I wanted to mock the ridiculous posts of the past but also see what people have been saying about me since I moved away. So I posted about myself in brainless fashion with an alias. Without fail, the drama alert went off and, as such, my joke went through. Take a gander below while I dry the tears of laughter streaming down my face...

[My post:]

im so excited for next time!!! lookin forward to an awesome time. good indian music. but mostly the hot indian boys (esp ones like Vishal, TJ and Asad) & even the non-desis (like mark and da'an). what ever happened to da'an? a lil drunk & wild but my fav. i havent seen nav in a while either!! hopefully at next mela

[Reply:]

yeah someone needs to sober up. Who are these no name/generic people you're talking about and which one of them is yourself? Mela is about good music and good times, in a safe relaxed and comfortable environment not about people pretending to be someone else to promote themselves. Reality Check: This is NOT ratedesi.com or high school!

These are my thoughts on the matter:

HAHAHAHHAHA...

Who actually posts in this guestbook that regularly? The person who replied did so within a couple of hours. Sad.

Why would someone ASSUME that people are posting for self-promo... unless they've done so? Uh oh! Plus, the no name/generic comment was such a stupid comment to make. Mostly because I did name all these people but also because all those people [myself included, not to be arrogant] listed aren't generic. We were basically extremely well-known at the club scene. I have this feel that Mr. F-O-B is a bit jealous because his name wasn't included. In my defense, it's not my fault! If he was noteworthy, I honestly would have included his name. Poor dude...

Ew, anger much? How could someone take something like that so seriously? Hilarious. I feel like I need to wear a bulletproof vest now. Honestly, his reaction went beyond the effect I was going for. Bril!

Any Suggestions for retaliation?

Coming To America

2007-07-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

She doesn't smile.
She doesn't eat.
She is major.

Watch Victoria Beckham bitch out Perez Hilton.

"It's exhausting being fabulous."

For more information on the NBC special Victoria Beckham Comes to America:
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/celebritology/2007/07/victoria_beckhams_major_debut.html

Finally, she had her cake and ate it too...

2007-07-16T12:38:00.001-07:00

This weekend was an example of how summer should be; fun.

On Friday evening I met up with Kendra to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I was early, she was late, we were both without our mobile phones, and things worked out. When we entered, Kendra saw her high school friend Briar who works at the theater. She is very intense to say the least - thought that could have been the emo pink eyeshadow that swayed me. I sorta kinda basically wanted to back away slowly whenever she prompted me for agreement. Regardless, she invited Kendra to a kegger [and said I could come too] as well as managed to snag us two child tickets for the low price of 6 dollars each. The movie was really good! I noticed there was a lot less emphasis on a storyline and a lot more action this time around. [As a side note: I think should play Harry Potter if the whole HP mania spawns off into a musical for coloured people by coloured people.] After the movie, we had to take the bus as I cannot drive with my foot injury. When we arrived at the bus stop behind the theater, Kendra asked the bus driver if the mall near my house was on his route. It wasn't. The driver was totally oblivious of anything I was saying because he was too busy gawking at Kendra. The price of beauty, I suppose. We decided not to wait 47 minutes for the right bus to arrive but to walk to a couple blocks to a busier intersection. We got to the mall safe a sound. We made a quick pit stop at the drug store to buy a chocolate cake mix and powdered custard. I learned several things on our long travel home. 1, Kendra has a right drift while walking, which explains why I am always on her left side. 2, Kendra's Jamaican side gives her the ability to speak rasta patois and, as such, the power to ward off ganstas parked in black SUVs in the empty parking lot by the mall. 3, We look hella good on public transit. More lessons would follow when we got back to my house. 1, My dog loves me more than Kendra. 2, I can fake being a bad cook when I want a girl to cook for me. 3, I don't think Kendra liked my new song. All in all, it was a fun evening. I have to remember to take my camera with me wherever I go!

This, sadly, is not the cake we made...

Saturday seemed to float by with a sleepy disposition and an ample amount of schoolwork. I went to Saturday evening mass with my Ma. It was the youth mass so it was very untraditional seeming. The soloist had such a pretty voice. After the mass, my Ma asked me why I don't sing for church anymore. It was a good question... The day ended with ice cream and watching the re-run of the BET Awards with my parents. My ghetto fab sister went out so we were lost for the most part who was who. Apparently, my parents both disregard Diana Ross' drug and violence issues and think "she's a class act".

I woke up really early on Sunday morning and decided that I wanted to sing in with the 10 am choir again. My dad is one of the guitarist for the choir so I joined him for the early morning practice. During the summer, the usual Thursday evening practices are moved to Sunday mornings before mass. I am happy I chose to sing; I felt more connected to the mass this way. Afterward, we rushed downtown with a couple of family friends to see the musical We Will Rock You. I think I've learned my way downtown well because I was able to give directions to the others. Yay, proud! We got there early so we stopped by this Bangladesh festival happening in Dundas Square shortly to listen to a band that was playing. We only stayed for two songs then walked across to the theater. The Cannon Theater was a lot simpler than I expected - perhaps because the last theater I was at was the Garnier Opera House. I liked the music a lot but I thought the plot was slightly stupid. One of the friends brought a date, who came to talk to me during intermission when the others went to stretch their legs or use the washrooms. Thankfully, my dad saved me from the hotness of this very friendly individual by answering all the questions asked of me. Pft! On the bright side, I love my parents and they went out for drinks later that night so I got the house to myself. I decided to get wild by watching Big Brother and Brothers & Sisters while eating lamb burgers and Greek salad.

I had an appointment with a geneticist on Friday morning. A blood sample has been sent off to Ottawa to confirm whether I have HNPP. I was told I display the classic example of this genetic disorder. It's not lethal thankfully but still not the best thing to find out. Who would have thought bad news could kick off such a lovely weekend?

My First Debut

2007-07-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I attended my very first debut. It was a culture burst and very entertaining. For those of you who are not familiar with this celebration, a debut is short for a debuatante ball. At this ball, a debutante, which is the French word for "female beginner", is formally presented or "comes out" to her community on her 18th birthday. It is traditionally held in the upper classes for the purposes of displaying the young woman off to eligible bachelors. Many different cultures have embraced this ball.

The debut I attended was held in honor of the daughter of my Filipino neighbors. After a blessing and dinner, a series of musical and dance performances took place, including a waltz done by the debutante, her escort, and her court (nine couples, for a total of 18 people all together, including debutante couple). A candle and rose ceremony followed, in which 18 roses were presented to the debuantante by males and 18 candles were lit by the males' partner.

I felt that remnants of the debut's traditionally purposes came through at times making the night seem like a show of sorts, where the debutante is the star of the production and the guests are the audience. With that said, it was really cool to be able to witness all of this. I learned so much about the importance and structure of this event that I would have never have known about otherwise.

Discussions on Life, Love, and Europe

2007-07-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday was kind of a big deal in Canada, being the nation's birthday and all. On the night of July 1st, the sky has this wonderful tendency of filling up with fireworks. I don't like fireworks. I wish I did but I don't. They're just totally boring and overrated to me. Alas, I managed to not attend a fireworks show and ended my long weekend at Lyndsay's new apartment in Guelph. I had a lot of fun and, not to sound emo or anything but I needed this weekend, it convinced me not all my friends are hating on me right now. I got to see Anjali for a few hours at dinner before she started her 8-hour journey back home. I was also able to properly meet Jeff, Lyndsay's boyfriend. She began dating him when I had just moved to Paris so I haven't really had the chance to give him the third-degree...yet. By far, my favourite part of the weekend was our discussions on life, love, and Europe. It used to be a daily break for us to meet with Shilpa and Caitlyn in the café of building to have these talks and eat tons. It had been so long since we've had one of our lovely late-night talks. I love them so much because they can tie in almost every part of day-to-day dramas. Lyndsay can pose the most peculiar questions and I pride myself in responding in the most shocking way. That night, Dawson Leery and Joey Potter were channeled and nostalgia flowed like a river.

Here are a few photos:

Lyndsay likes to bake. I like her new kitchen. Banana bread anyone?

Anjali has this habit of panicking. This is her running to catch her coach.

Anjali wasn't late so we ate to celebrate.

Lyndsay misses me on a daily basis. It's quite sad...

Some things are die hard, such as our enjoyment for insanity. We call it "Hideous".

Lyndsay loves me. And I love this photo. Smile!

It's Ma'am as in Sam Not Mum as in Bum

2007-07-02T19:27:00.000-07:00

These past few days have been rather royal. No, really. I mean royal. I finally watched The Queen starring Helen Mirren. Both my ma and I agreed the film was well done. It detailed the day-to-day happenings of the Queen just prior to and succeeding Princess Diana’s death. I, like many, dislike Queen Elizabeth II but the film made me view her from a different perspective. She holds her title as head of the sovereignty to the utmost importance along with all its duties. She is simply trying to do well in the tradition that prepared her.

Yesterday, I tuned in for parts of Concert for Diana, a musical celebration throw by Prince William and Harry in dedication to their late mother. Reporters were going completely mad for the princes, tossing compliments left, right, and center. Ugh! One man being interviewed went as far as to say the two young men are role models for all young people. Okay... Now, that is just ridiculous. I’m not quite sure if I, as a young person, would like to look to Prince Harry as a role model. I know he’s a prince but does that disregard the fact that he’s a perverted ass-grabber who wears swastika armband and was checked into rehab at age 17? I suppose so. But hell, if I'm going to have a role model like that I'd much rather look to another fire crotch - Lindsay Lohan.

Although Prince William has done nothing wrong, I don’t want him to be king. I have nothing against him but, as people have said time and time again, the monarchy must go. When it comes down to it, however, only one in five vote to boot out the royals. It seems to me that British people do not want to let go of the romance and fairytale lifestyle a monarchy brings. But think about this: who is living the fairytale lifestyle? Not the people, rather a select few who have done nothing but be born. There is a difference between a child lucking out and being part of a wealthy family. You see, somewhere down the line someone in the family had to earn that money. She/he worked hard, played smart, or stole. Speaking of stealing, the British monarch "earns" £88 million from taxpayers a year without really earning a single cent of that figure. In the modern world, the monarch hinders instead of helps society flourish. Britain must make the move towards becoming a republic for the sake of its people.

Click the URL below to view other supporting arguments of Republicanism in the United Kingdom as well as some opposing arguments: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republicanism_in_the_United_Kingdom

Virtual Insanity

2007-06-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

My summer has been fairly uneventful thus far with my injury and the sudden disappearance of my friends. My close confidant Kendra has recently moved back to Toronto from studying in Leeds. I've missed her greatly - naturally, she's felt the same - and so we planned to see our all-time favourite bisexual celebrity in A Mighty Heart. I searched the internet for showtimes and we planned dinner before seeing the film. There was a show at 7h30. Perfect! [Kendra's still jetlagged and wanted to be home by 9h30... I know, we've gone from dancing on railings to home before sundown. We've truly turned into a wild pair.] When we got to the cinema, there was, however, no 7h30 show on the huge electronic sign hanging above the box office. Why's that? That's because A Mighty Heart, as we could soon learn from the ticket seller, was not playing at that cinema. WHAT?! I check the location and times on the internet. How could this be? All was not lost as I still had a lovely time at dinner and equally lovely - but awkward - time watching Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer with a room full of little kids and their parents.

It got me thinking... Of course, we all know that what is online is not always truth in the real world. But do we really? I'm not just talking about incorrect movie openings. You turn on your computer, click the icon for your internet browser, and then POW! You are taken to a virtual world full of everything that is known to man, something called "pixels" [whatever those are], and all lies and falsities you could ever imagine. Yay! Let's talk about MySpace, for instance, shall we? Yay! Almost everyone on MySpace has an innumerable number of friends who have found their way onto the ol' friends list but have never been or may never be met in-person. Despite my old tendency to judge this particular situation, I've come around and learned to appreciate the "online friend". I have people on my list who I've never met so this to me is fine. However, is it fine that most people's profiles do not portray the person they are in the real world? It is without a doubt in my mind that people write things online they would never say in person, turn from shy to overtly sexual for the sake of a thoroughly observed photo section, and, of course, exaggerate certain qualities to attract certain friends. My first thought is that I hate MySpace... but then I come to my senses. I realize MySpace isn't evil and that I'm probably just as bad as half of these people. We are lying to ourselves about ourselves for others. Later, this idea came to me: maybe who we see online are not lies but the true person that is inhibited in the real world? If we do something shocking online, we don't have deal with the consequences. We just click "block" then "delete" everyone and get new friends. Or do more subtle things... but I'm tad dramatic [in person and in my virtual self] so think up the subtle ways yourself. Hem. Regardless, I think we should all keep in mind that before and after this virtual insanity, we are the people who live and breathe in flesh and blood. We should be aiming to improve ourselves as real people not our profile photos. Oh, and by the way, just as a reality check to those kids who's online profiles scream "too cool for school!", you're not fooling anyone. I know you are actually just students with emo haircuts and bad taste in music so fuck off, k?

Any thoughts? (:

A few words on and from Julia Hare

2007-06-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Dr. Julia Hare is spokesperson for the black community who reminds us of things we'd rather not remember but need to.

She is an author on educational psychology, a social commentator, and, basically, amazing.

There's something special about Irvine

2007-06-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

At one time, Kelly Clarkson not only represented the sole major success story of the Idol franchise but also a powerhouse in the music industry overall, pumping out hit single after hit single. Although “Never Again” has grown on me, I had begun to question the future of the 25-year-old Texan singer-songwriter after seeing her performance of “Never Again” on the season finale of Idol. Kinda terrible. In fact, I started to prefer Carrie Underwood's composure and lack of shouting out a song.

After my friend Lorraine linked me up to preview the yet-to-be-released My December, I feel as though I need to apologize for ever doubting Kelly. It is perhaps one of the most anticipated releases of the year and has already stirred up quite a bit of controversy with Clive Davis in opposition of its release, the firing of her long-time manager, and the cancellation of a summer tour due to disappointing ticket sales. The CD does have a few shitty tracks but some of the slower-tempo numbers are beyond anything Kelly’s recorded before. As Lorraine said, "It's not so radio friendly but still good music".

When I first heard the song “Irvine” I wanted to cry. Shut up, I know... haha I just feel something when I listen to this track. Maybe because it’s such an amazing song or maybe because I am struggling to strength my faith again. The song is, in essence, a heart-filled conservation between Kelly and God, in which she poses questions about God's relationship with her. The words have a lot of meaning but the music isn’t dull or depressing. Kelly's voice, full of perfect flaws, simply sings the lyrics over an acoustic guitar strumming away. To me, it paints a desaturated image of a clothes line in a yard drying white sheets that sway in the summer breeze. This is my new favourite, it’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Tear.

Here’s my YES/NO opinion on each of the tracks:
1. "Never Again" = YES!
2. "One Minute" = NO
3. "Hole" = NO
4. "Sober" = YES!
5. "Don't Waste Your Time" = YES
6. "Judas" = YES
7. "Haunted" = YES
8. "Be Still" = YES
9. "Maybe" = YES!
10. "How I Feel" = NO
11. "Yeah" = NO
12. "Can I Have a Kiss" = NO
13. "Irvine" = YES!!

The album drops Tuesday 26 June in Canada and the US. Go out and purchase a copy. Oh! Look out for the hidden track “Chivas” after “Irvine”. Bad sex + Whisky = Hilarious…Another song I can relate to. haha!

Dentists should really be titled Killers

2007-06-19T09:53:00.001-07:00

I've gone to the same dentist for as long as I can remember and have never enjoyed the experience. Never having a cavity and never having to wear braces or a retainer, my pearly white smile has been the subject of many superficial compliments. Regardless, going to the dentist has always left me with a headache. I’m not sure if it’s the sound of the equipment, the taste and smell of the gritty paste they use, or my dentist’s judging eyes looking down at me but I always leave the office questioning whether I was punched in the face while blinking.

Thoughts of “I could be doing so many other more useful things with my Saturday” appeared as I sat in the waiting room of my dentist’s newly renovated office. My dentist is Dr. Choo-Campell. She’s good at what she does, apparently, and because of this she has become quite successful over the years. She now has an ever increasing number of employees, a continuously renovated office, and a perpetually flourishing pretentious attitude. Dr. Choo- Campell, nevertheless, has always been a fan of my teeth. After having a hissy-fit at one of her dental hygienists [seriously, it was almost Janice Dickinson worthy], she asked my sister a ridiculous amount of nosy questions involving business schools and why she is wanting to pursue the career in the field she wants to. She ended on a classy note saying, “My daughter would be jealous of you.” My poor sister. I would have bit the bitch. Or at least, I thought I would have. Though worse was to come and no cannibal acts were committed that afternoon. Maybe I'm all talk. Then again I'm not a dentist, I mean killer. Same thing, right? As the dentist pushed aside one of her many nameless employees, she insulted my hair and asked me if I wanted a haircut while she was at it. Lovely. She then put on her goggles and announced that my teeth are stained. Kindly, the dentist asked me "Do you brush your teeth?" while making a horrified expression. Great. "My going-to-the-dentist experience has officially become hell," I thought and then began to contemplating whether the woman’s weight loss had caused her to go insane. My teeth are almost unnaturally white. People ask me if I bleach them with those strips and stuff! I really don’t get how she could see any stains even with her fancy goggles. I insured her I brush my teeth multiple times a day. The dentist began to stab my gums and randomly scoffed, “I would ask you to floss as well as brush but there’s no point in asking the impossible of you.” I do floss! Thankfully, she got up and stormed out of the room as a timid older dental hygienist named Josie entered moments later. Josie complimented me on my white smile and was very kind but, unfortunately for me, very clumsy. She cut my lip, dropped the gritty paste in my eye, and some how managed to smear a bluish-green substance across my left cheek. This paste, as she warned me beforehand, was so incredibly sandy that both my sister and I could still taste it hours later after brushing and rinsing several times. I thought my experiences of going to the dentist would improve as the years went on. Although, I have diverged from my beliefs that the dentist was evil and going to remove my baby teeth with pliers, I am still gripping the arm rests…

Rejoice that rhyming slang is no longer 'nang'

2007-06-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

Accents are like spices. I find the basic English language to be fairly dull to listen to. Unlike Spanish or French, English has no free flow; there is little necessity for pitch variation like the Chinese and Indian languages have; and unlike some African languages, English has no strength or real umph. However, throw in an accent everything changes. Each syllable, each word, each phrase... syntax is spiced up.

I think slang can have the same effect; a certain amount of interest is brought to the spoken word when slang is introduced. I disagree with the argument that slang is not "proper" English. I'm not too sure why people are so against slang. Perhaps because slang usually originates from the lower socio-economic groups and works its way into the white suburban neighborhoods and before you know it middle aged men are admitting their co-workers they're phat [in this particular case perhaps they meant it with an f though...] while the elite snub their noses up only to jump on the bandwagon five minutes too late. New words are thought up, dictionaries grow, and languages change. But think about! The words that are commonplace for use now were at one time frowned upon. Different vocabulary is suitable in different situations. Sure, for now, speak "proper" English when you're going for a job interview at a major bank. But if you're in the hood for example, speaking "proper" English might not be the best way of communicating. Colloquial speech should not be looked down upon nor should speaking with an accent. Different doesn't equate to bad or inferior. Different is different.

Check out this article on changes in the Cockey dialect by Philip Hensher in The Independent:
http://comment.independent.co.uk/columnists_a_l/philip_hensher/article307658.ece

This is My Now...

2007-06-14T23:57:00.000-07:00

...and I am breathing in the moment - Yes, I'm actually singing Jordin Spark's single "This is My Now". It's been stuck in my head all day and I like it! I just admitted this to my friend Lorraine. She didn't cast any stones though I felt the inner snicker with her trademark"eh". I know!! Gah, the song is so coming-of-age. God, what's wrong with me? Next, I'll be confessing that I like watching Joey, Pacey, and the rest of the Capeside crew. Oops!

To listen to this rather catchy song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vscyeW6Uq3E

A hopefully Wednesday evening

2007-06-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

Good news has been sparingly offered to this lad recently; however, the past few days have taken a spin on the upside leaving me tonight with a hopefully smile. After spending several hours in the hospital this week, I was told that my foot is on its way to healing. Apparently there has been some nerve damage and unusual cuts along the nerves in other limbs but with time I should be back in fighting form. I was also told that I am fit to return to my days in retail. I decided to call up Club Monaco on Monday afternoon only to hear the voice of a perky new salesgirl. The assistant manager wasn’t in and so I was left with the harsh reality that I had been replaced. Or so I thought. I got in touch with the assistant manager who informs me that I still have my job despite major cutbacks in store employment. A new store manager has been hired and she wants meet me. So for now, I’m safe but for how long I’m not too sure. I was so excited that I had to make contact with another life form. I actually signed onto MSN messenger for the first time in who knows how long. Within less than twenty minutes I realized why I’m never on that thing anymore and that some of my friends are incredibly selfish. Okay, fine... I know both of these things before. But the feelings were reinforced during those twenty minutes. Luckily, my mood was not offset. I took a raincheck for dinner with my friend Damion as I was drained. I had a lovely Wednesday evening tuning in for CNTM, So You Think You Can Dance?, my new favourite show Traveler, and the nightly news with Lloyd Robertson. I really need to get some new books tomorrow… Well, staying on the bright side, at least I don't say "at all" like a`tall instead of at-all. My neurosurgerical nurse did it and, all thought I think she's a sweetheart, for fuck's sake don't say the words as if they're two totally different words with different meanings. I love accents. I think they bring flavour to the English language but saying a`tall is an attempt to be prim but it comes out sounding snobby and oh so WRONG. Hmm, like I was saying... I had a lovely evening!

Perez Hilton

2007-06-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

American blogger Perez Hilton has become a household name in the world of celebrity gossip. Why? At the peak of Britney’s nosedive, Perezhilton.com served over 4.75 million unique visitors in a 24 hour period. Still, I’m not quite sure. See, I’ve never felt the need to check out his website. Not because I have no interest in celebrities but because I don't dig Perez's style. Today, I did check it out, however, for the purposes of limiting presumptions. My thoughts were confirmed. Perez Hilton is a wet blanket. He, like Paris Hilton, has attained fame by doing nothing out of the ordinary. Perhaps this is why they are now friends and Perez’s supposedly unapologetic entries have favoured Paris by refusing to present any stories of the inmate in a negative light. Before you think I’m going to start dogging Paris, think again. I’d take the insanity of the fake-and-bake princess over the excessively dull celebrity wannabe any day, any night. That’s right! I think Perez simply wants to be a celeb. Oh, well…everyone deserves 5 minutes of fame I suppose – even if they are lame-gay-outing-overweight-perverted [I saw what he did to that male model on the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency during the Aussie Bum auditions]- Paris- Hilton- wannabes- with- blue- Kool- Aid- dyed- hair. Smile!

p.s. no apologies, bitch!

www.perezhilton.com

First Weekend in June

2007-06-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

Friday
+ In complete contrast to these past few weeks, my weekend seemed like it was going to be totally busy.
– I had tons of schoolwork.
+ I managed to finish most of the work before Friday evening.

+ My dearest Diana had her 21^st birthday party.
– She had it at a bar and so I couldn't go.
+ Instead, my Ma took me shopping and then we went out for dinner.

Saturday
+ My new bed was delivered early the next morning.
– The bed is a lot higher than I expected because they used a different box spring in the showroom at the store.
+ I love my new bed.

+ My long-time family friend Lorraine was turning 21 and had her birthday party at her home.
– I felt really old and because there were so many people there, I didn't get to spend much time with Lorraine.
+ It was my first time out at social gathering in a while since my foot has been giving me problems.

Sunday
+ I managed to get another appointment for a knee MRI this time.
– The appointment was at a hospital a half-hour away from my house and it was at 4 a.m.
+ I got a call saying they don't think there's a tumor in my knee.

+ I went to Guelph.
– I spent almost the entire time completing an ecological observation on Canada geese in a soccer field by the university's arboretum.
+ I got to spend the afternoon with Lyndsay, one of my favourite people at Guelph.

Where Ro seems to go, there will be a blow

2007-06-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

Blow up that is, and this war of words did not fall short to the legacy. As we all know from having this story shoved in our faces, Rosie O'Donnell was upset that Elisabeth Hasselbeck did not defend her when being accused of calling U.S. troops "terrorists". EH kindly shrieked out, "You are an adult, and I'm not going to be the person for you to explain your thoughts. ... Defend your own insinuations."

I know this story has been everywhere and you might be sick of hearing about it. But I have a couple of things to say so just bear with me.

1. Why didn't they roll to commercials? After reading through Ro's blog, she did not leave "The View" because she couldn't stand three more weeks of pro-Republican bullshit but because she felt the producers of the show set her up for this confrontation. After co-host Joy Behar repeatedly tried to cool the situation down, a split screen appeared as if the two women were boxers facing off before a big match. Ridiculous! I'm asking the same question as Joy did at the end of the Hot Topics segment: "Who is directing the show?"

2. Why is Ro considered eccentric/controversial? I still don't understand this… I keep coming across those words as if being an intelligent liberal thinker is an odd thing. I can't even understand how someone could not see that Ro is a good-hearted person who's standing up for what's right. I wonder if more people would respect this woman if she weren't a fat dyke. Ro is right, damnit!!

3. Why was this all such a big deal? U.S. troops are terrorists. I'm sure they don't realize this for the most part. But they are. Now, please shut the fuck up and hear me out at least before you get all Republican on my ass and start leaving me curse-filled comments about how I should burn in hell for having brown-skin and therefore being a member of Al Qaeda. What is a terrorist? A terrorist is, according to dictionary.com, "a person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism." What is terrorism? Terrorism is "the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes." U.S. troops are terrorists.

In any case, "The View" will suffer in ratings after this incident. I've tried to tune in once or twice but the conversation has seemed to have fallen into dumbass banter. With Meredith Viera, Star Jones, and now Rosie gone, all the show is left with is the not-so-comical comedy of Joy Behar, the unforgettable… [I'm sorry, what's her name again? Elisabeth Hussyback?]…the unforgettable blonde bitch with backward opinions and an annoying voice [Okay, EH is pretty damn forgettable. I mean, she started off on "Survivor"… that says a lot.], and [speaking of annoying voices…] the legendary Baba Wawa. [Sorry, miss, I know you're 78-years-old but your idiosyncratic speech with its rounded "R" is as fucking irritating as a bad case of herpes or Donald Trump.]

J'Adore Dior

2007-05-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why but I think I want to hug Hedi Slimane. Despite receiving negative reviews for his spring collection, Hedi seems to have pulled up his socks and got his ass on track. I think I want every single item in Dior Homme's fall collection.

Here are some of my favourite outfits:

This question just — okay, not just — came to mind: Why are these models so fugly? I know, being very tall and skinny is most important for runway but there must be better looking people who are very tall and skinny. This is all very confusing to me. I mean, these models — with an exception of a select few [the ones displaying the outfits above who actually look like models] — are borderline hideousities. It's upsetting, really. And I'm not being horribly superficial either. Some are getting paid very well for a job that they do not deserve.

At least Hedi knows how to work it out!

For a look at the entire collection: http://men.style.com/fashion/collections/F2007MEN/complete/thumb/CDMEN

All of these photographs were taken by Marcio Madeira.

Oh God, I've become one of them...

2007-05-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

Not much has been up since I've moved back from Paris. With a series of unfortunate events occurring to my body, I have turned to the tube over the bottle. Television has not been a part of my life for about five years to the surprise of my friends simply due to the insane amount of drama that filled my everyday happenings. However, now that I'm nearly drama-free and almost immobile, I love TV. Heroes, the Ellen Degeneres Show, One-Tree Hill, Video on Trial, Grey's Anatomy, Tyra Show, Traveler, Desperate Housewives, as well as reruns of Fame and Beverly Hills 90210, and who could forget Oprah. All in all, the list goes on and on but to top off this already horrible newly formed addiction is my fascination for the reality television show. Tonight was an important night for two of the biggest reality shows with the Cycle 8 finale of America's Next Top Model and the semi-finals of American Idol.

This season I was extremely impressed by Renee but hoped Natasha would take home the title of Top Model. Sure, one's a bit "old" in the face and the other is a little bit of a weirdo, respectively. Nevertheless, Renee has taken gorgeous photos week after week and Natasha has this drive in her that's made her go from just another wannabe to a serious contender. I would have been satisfied seeing the blonde bombshell take it home but I, particularly, wanted Natasha to win because she seems like a genuine sweetheart – unlike, Jaslene who is a bitch. I admit, Jaslene does photograph fierce but for some reason her massive chin and horse-like teeth always distract me. Oops, was that mean? I guess she's not the only bitch in town. Regardless, that bitch won. That's right, "[she] may not be the girl next door but [she is] the girl from the hood" and, with clavicles that could be mistaken for daggers, Miss. Cha Cha is now America's next top model.

Oh, but don't worry! My television viewing experience only got worse when nine p.m. rolled around and I switched the channel to Idol. I think my jaw actually dropped when I heard Seacrest announce that Melinda Doolittle would not be competing in the finals next Tuesday. Being compared to a young Tina Turner, Melinda was perhaps the most decent voice Idol has seen since Fantasia. Jordin does seem like a great girl and I get it. I heard the constant echoing, "But she's only 17 years old!" Perhaps, that's an indication that she should hold off for a few years before trying to set up a record deal. So she can, you know, work on staying in key for an entire song. At first, I was thankful that Blake offers something new and refreshing from the typical high-note belting I associate American Idol with; however, there's only so many times I can listen to this dude insert beatboxing for the sake of it rather than to improve the song. Where the hell is Sanjaya Malkar when you need him? No, that was a joke [and by the way, I think the Sanjaya jokes have been over done. Please stop, you'll only end up seeming like a racist homophobic piece of shit if you continue, k?] Blah, blah, BLEGH…WTF is going on tonight, AHH I'm so mad…SO MAD!! Stop. But then I think to myself, "Oh God, I've become one of them…"

Earth Day 07

2007-04-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Each and every year, around the world, 22 April marks Earth Day. It is a day to inspire environmental awareness and appreciation. According to Santa Barbara, California Community Environmental Council:

The story goes that Earth Day was conceived by Senator Gaylord Nelson after a trip he took to Santa Barbara right after that horrific oil spill off our coast in 1969. He was so outraged by what he saw that he went back to Washington and passed a bill designating April 22 as a national day to celebrate the earth.

The first Earth Day was celebrated in 1970 by 20 million participants.

We, as human beings, may be the greatest specie to have roamed on this earth but let us not forget that we are nothing without this earth. The pressures to live a more glamorous life, buy expensive things, have large houses, drive sexier cars, and whatnot, leave us completely wrapped up in our day-to-day goings and unaware of the damage we are doing to the Earth and indirectly to ourselves, our children, and future generations.

I know, I know. I bet you're thinking, "Yeah, great! I cannot afford to buy an electric car. I don't have time to go plant a damn tree. And, after this winter, like hell I'm giving up my snow blower"? I'm not asking any for any of these things because I feel the same. What I am asking for are small changes.

In Elizabeth Rogers' The Green Book, she writes about "little things that make a big difference" in changing the environment. One of those simple things you can do is to reduce your use of paper napkins to just one a day. "Napkins make a huge difference. We use 2 200 of them a year, per person on average. Six a day. So if we all gave up one napkin a day, we could save a billion pounds of paper waste … from going to landfills a year." She also says, "If everyone left their receipts in the machine, it would save a roll of paper more than 2 billion feet long—enough to circle the equator more than 15 times."

There are so many things that we can do to save energy as well as money. Friday, on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Simran Sethi presented several money-saving/energy-saving options we can switch in the house. Simran explained that most people don't know that plugged-in appliances and electronics use energy even if they're turned off. "We're spending all this money to power things that are in the off position," she says. "We call it vampire standby power." To cut your electricity costs, Simran suggests plugging in your electronics to the Smart Power Strip, which retails for 32.95USD. Then, when you turn off the power strip, all the items plugged into it will also power down. She says, "I love this thing."

[And I love you, Simran. This woman completely blows me away and I have so much respect for her and her work. Simran Sethi is an award-winning journalist who produced and anchored the news for MTV Asia, co-created the MTV India news division, and developed programming for the BBC and Doordarshan through her independent production company SHE TV. She hosted Ethical Markets and is a contributing author of the book Ethical Markets: Growing the Green Economy. She is currently the host of TreeHugger News. Love 'er.]

To celebrate Earth Day, I hope you'll all try to make some small changes in your daily habits. Here are ten ways www.earthday.ca recommends to help the environment:

Park It: Leave your car at home for a day (or a week or a month) and try walking or biking. If work is too far away to walk, take public transit or carpool.
One city bus eliminates the emissions of 40 cars.
Shut Down: Turn off the lights, the computer and the TV when they are not in use.
Using only highly efficient and money saving appliances can reduce the electricity consumption of an average household to one tenth of the US average.
Where's The Beef At?: Try eating meat-free at least one day a week.
A meat-based diet requires seven times more land than a plant-based diet. Livestock production is responsible for more climate change gasses than all the motor vehicles in the world.
Eat It: Choose foods produced organically, locally and in season.
Support your regional farmers & farming industry: buying locally and in season is better for the environment than buying foods that have been shipped hundreds of kilometers to your local market.
Let It Rot: Put a composter in your backyard or use your green bin to reduce household waste.
Composting organics has two key benefits: it reduces the amount of waste going to landfills and when added to your garden, helps nourish soil and plants.
Don't Be Idle: Turn off your car's engine if stopped for more than 10 seconds.
If every driver of a light duty vehicle avoided idling by five minutes a day, collectively, we would save 1.8 million litres of fuel per day, almost 4500 tonnes of GHG emissions, and $1.7 million in fuel costs each day (assuming fuel costs are $0.95/L).
Keep Your Eye on the Temp: Set your thermostat above room temperature in the summer and below room temperature in the winter.
For each degree you adjust, you can save five per cent on your utility bill and one per cent on your energy use.
Brighter Ideas: Replace incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs (CFLs).
A CFL uses only 25 per cent as much energy as an incandescent bulb and lasts 10 times longer.
Don't Dump It: The simple act of recycling has more impact on the environment that the average Canadian thinks.
The amount of wood and paper North Americans throw away each year is enough to heat five million homes for 200 years.
Tell Someone: This is a great opportunity to brag.
Tell someone what you're doing to make the world a better place. Support the cause. Encourage them to get involved too!

Happy Earth Day!

Toronto

2007-04-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

... that's where I'll be tomorrow. (:

I'll miss Paris but saying goodbye has never been so easy. Heh, I guess this means I'm growing up.

I'll miss you, Paris

2007-03-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

"You can't fake this. Only imitate this." Young Love is blasting through my headphones. I'm wearing black lounge pants and an expressionless expression. It's late. The room feels heavy, I feel light, and the lingering question "why do all good things come to an end?" feels like it's appearing again.

Last night, la maison had a goodbye dinner. Potluck. The enchiladas cleared my sinuses for a moment's relief of my cold. There was wine. Lots and lots of red wine. And white. At least 15 bottles were empty halfway through the evening. I didn't drink and my teeth didn't turn blue. Paula made a slideshow. It was filled with unsuiting song selections and memoriable pictures of the semester's random happenings and key events. The slideshow made me realize: "it's going to come to a close, it's time to move on again." They're decent people. The people of la maison. Even the ones who've driven me to annoyance at times. Jessica smiled and walked pass me during mingling time - she doesn't want me. Tipsy girls put their arms around me and their faces got closer and closer as the room revolved around and around and around for them.

When I got back to my room, I sat on my bed. Uh oh. It was thinking time again. I turned to look at my desk. My very messy desk at moment. Well, most of the time. That's where Lucas sat the night I didn't fall in love. I haven't heard from him in a week. My time is almost up and I wondered if I'd see him again. I felt okay.

Sleep, sleep, slee- David and Sam came back from the club. Drunk. The usual. They're like an embarrassing clumsy - and stress clumsy - drunk pair. Love. That night proved that they really do just sleep sometimes.

The this morning, I got up early. It was raining. I'm back from the store. The sun shines. I checked my e-mail in the study room. Lucas e-mailed me. This made everything worse. He keeps his word. I'm not used to people doing this for me. People don't apologize to me for not seeing me in a couple of days. People don't make me promises to see me early next week. Lucas is special. He's a good one. He's the first person I'll have to thank the next time I fall in love. Because the next time will be for real. He taught me never to settle again. I hope I haven't spoken too soon. Regardless, I'll miss him.

I'll miss my baker. I'll miss jumping over the turnstills in la metro. I'll miss my balcony. I'll miss Paris in the wintertime, springtime, and its non-chalant attitude toward being on time. I'll miss Place D'italie. I'll miss watching people hurdle themselves onto the RER. I'll miss being stared at for looking like a mix-breed gyspy. I'll miss Harvir and his unknowingly funny statements and desire to be James Morisson's number one look-alike. I'll miss the macroons and the tarte fraise. I'll miss being able to see la Tour Eiffel or l'Arc de Triomphe on any given day of the week. I'll miss the café machiato from the coffee machine in the gallery of la maison. I'll miss la maison. I'll miss Linda and her odd words. I'll miss having no idea what people are saying when they speak too quickly and scream at me randomly in anger. I'll miss being able to smoke without thinking of my blackening lungs. I'll miss having to smoke in the bathroom to hide the fact I smoke from my roommate. I'll miss my roommate David. I'll miss cheap Bordeaux wine that tastes like the night. I'll miss Pizza Novena, Café Beaubourg, and the office of Robert Norman. I'll miss Jean-Manuel and his charming French ways. I'll miss those tiny pink facial tissues and the embarrassment they brought me when I have to pull them out in public. I'll miss the beautiful faces. I'll miss half-Nutella, half-hummus baguette nights. I'll miss having the freedom to do as I please. I'll miss going to school for myself and living for myself. I'll miss the French lifestyle. I'll miss you, Paris. Je t'aime, Paris. xx

It's Like a Lion

2007-03-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Time is always with us

But it is free.

Time isn't rthymic

But it tells a story.

Time is always moving

Like a heart, some say.

Like a lion, I say.

Time can stand still.

Time takes its time

For the important stuff.

Time will teach us lessons

Whether we like it or not.

God plays with Time

But Time plays with Fate.

And when your time is up,

You can't be taking a raincheck

Or call to say you'll be late.

"The Ticket Did Not Print"...

2007-03-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

ENGLAND. I think this trip was definitely different than all the other times I've stayed in the UK. It felt as thought I was visiting a place of my childhood. I didn't realized how much I've changed over the past few years, neither could my family, until I was there. | EUROSTAR. The Thursday night before I planned to leave, I found a cheap flight with British Airways that literally sold out while I was frantically trying to book a ticket. I was supposed to be meeting Jean-Manuel in just over an hour at Costes [btw: once again, I'm sorry for getting there over an hour late... I did not stand you up!] and I still didn't have a flight ticket. I booked with Eurostar. [Why am I always rushing?] The journey that Saturday morning, however, was not rushed at all and I got to Greenhithe on time with my red duffle bag and broken H&M $7 sunnies. Yes, I just said sunnies. | GRANDMA'S 70^th SURPRISE PARTY. I rushed to get a ticket for a reason. My family was throwing my Grandma a small surprise party for her 70^th birthday. I managed to get there just before the guests arrived. It was nice to see everyone and be there to celebrate the event. My Grandma kept saying how she's never had a surprise party in her life. I was happy to have been there. | BLUEWATER. I really love that place. The sheer size of the multi-level parking lot of this massive shopping centre alone makes the place bitchin'. I've been there twice before but I couldn't remember specific stores too well. British youth are brand whores and I - I wish there was no such thing as currency exchange rates. Nandos chicken is delicious and I got to see Santa Fe where my Uncle Steven and his wife Tanya salsa dance. | CENTRAL LONDON. I want to work/live there. Actually, I'll probably have to work in order just to live there. I got to do all the touristy things that I haven't done since I was a small boy. I got to learn the ways of the tube as well. (It's a lot smaller and cleaner than la metro.) I saw: Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, New and Old Bond Street, Big Ben, St. James' Park, the London Wheel, Oxford Circus, Tower Bridge, Leicester Square. | GRANDMA'S HOUSE. Going back to my Grandma's house filled me with nostalgia. This house has been part of my childhood – I even lived there for a while. While there, I went for a walk with my Grandma and I finally felt the connection I wanted to feel with her. Although we love each other greatly, I have found it difficult to continue a conversation with her. Now, things seemed different. Maybe because I am older and she feels it is easier to talk to me now? Not sure. I liked the feeling. I also liked being there because of her cooking. If there's one thing that house will always remind me of is her amazing dishes. | CHURCH. I went to mass with Tanya. I felt good to be back in a church. I don't want to lose my relationship with God ever. | THE JACKET. I saw the sexiest poka – dot navy blue short cut overcoat at Top Man. I want it. It's expensive but worth it and I want. At least, I think it's expensive. Maybe I'm cheap, or not an economical fuck-up? | HOLLY AND LAWRENCE. My little cousins Holly and Lawrence are polar opposites. Holly, age 8, is shy and quiet. Lawrence, age 5, is loud and outspoken. I love them both so much. They're such sweet children. I finally got to be the beloved young uncle figure and I love it. I want children one day. | LEEDS. What a young hipster-filled northern city. The influence of the university is definitely felt its modernity. I was glad to see Kendra and her new friends. She seems the same but very different now. I hadn't seen her since our trip to Montreal. | OCEANA. While in Leeds, we went to the cinema, several cafes and restaurants, and to a nightclub called Oceana. It was very cool and very big. It remineded me of a casino. [I've never actually been to a casino and don't really want to.] Kendra finished her assignments and was now on break, and so she could prove to me that I'm not necessarily always the bad one. I saw but did not get to go into Halo Nightclub. The concept of that place still seems perverse to me. | My trip to England was a lot, a lot of fun. I'm already hoping to go back early next month.

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London

2007-03-02T17:11:00.000-08:00

... I leave for England tomorrow. (:

My "jungle" fever left me, thank God, this morning; however, I am feeling a mixture of emotions right now. Regardless, I am looking forward to seeing my family and visiting my close friend Kendra who is on exchange at Leeds University. I want to try to do the tourist thing this time while in England. I haven't seen the sights since I was a kid.

Back from the Land of a 1000 Camels

2007-02-28T02:24:00.000-08:00

February 22

Well, I'm here. In Morocco. I mean… WOW. How cool is this? It's one a.m. so technically, it's actually February 23. The flight was pretty good. Cintia and Jess flew down in the morning and Lindsay and Jessica flew with me. We all flew RAM (Royal Air Maroc). Definitely one of the best landings I've been through. The most ridiculously comedic thing happened when we got off the plane. A shuttle bus was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. We get in and it literally drives forward and then does a U-turn and we get out. It was absolutely ridiculous. Al Menara airport is the name of the airport we landed at by the way. Going through customs was a breeze, as was baggage claim. We exchanged Eurodollars to Moroccan Dirhams at the currency exchange booth, where I was told, in French, that if I wanted to talk in French to talk to that girl [Jessica] and to speak Arabic. I don't speak Arabic and the man at the currency exchange booth definitely spoke French much better than I do. (The exchange rate is about 8.9 times, stronger the Euro if you're wondering.) After he repeated "cent- cinquante, cent-cinquante" several times, I got my cash and we went outside to look for a taxi. Marrakech airport is served by two types of taxis: "grands taxis" (shared intercity taxis) and "petits taxis" (city cabs). A "grand taxi" (usually a Mercedes) takes up to six passengers. This type of taxi is not allowed inside the walls of the old town. "Petits taxis" (beige-coloured minicars like the Peugeot 206) take only three passengers. We were swarmed by a group of taxi drivers awaiting the passengers from our flight. We luckily stumbled upon a local bus, number 11, a short walk outside the airport. The bus travels along the Avenue de la Menara, where the swank four-star hotels are located. The bus driver was such a nice guy. We were dropped off by the central square, Djemma El Fnaa. The market was dying down by now but still gorgeous. Unreal oranges, dates, unsalted cashews, seasoned almonds, grains of all types and kinds, dried apricots, and more. We asked a policeman for directions. He pointed us in the direction to walk and said to just wander around and ask people as we go along. We asked a vender for directions after a while. A man approached us and asked for money to show us the way. Sketch. We said no. He said "okay, fine I'll show you anyway". Sketch. Deal! Jessica spoke to him. Her French is best of myself and Lindsay. Anyway, he lead us down a side street. People stared as my suitcase wheels make noise on the cobblestone roads. We turned left down a dark alley. The man whistled and the streets got darker and more shady. We arrived at the hotel. Hotel not hostel. Apparently, it's a hotel not a hostel. At first, I thought maybe the man led us to the wrong place but Cintia and Jess came running down the stairs. It's gorgeous and very Middle Eastern. It's called Rabha Riad Hotel. Love. The family that runs this place is so so incredibly sweet and helpful. Really nice people.

[cintia looks for a genie in the lounge.]

[stained glass.]

Breakfast at the hotel became an expected and well welcomed morning ritual. My breakfast usually consists of me sipping coffee or tea while rushing to a class. The hotel served the usual circular breads with apricot jam and cream butter as well as freshly squeeze orange juice and cinnamon-flavoured coffee every morning. It was a very simple meal but very tasty, like much of food served in Morocco. The bread and a dish called tajine will probably be what sticks out in my mind as Moroccan cusine. The bread is very plain and always circular shaped and, dare I say it, comparable to Parisian breads. A tajine is a Moroccan dish as well as a special pot for preparing this dish. Tajines dishes are slow cooked meats and vegetables at low temperatures.

Jostling crowds, the piquant tension of debate, space in perpetual motion - the minute you set foot in the souks you know you've arrived somewhere very different. The souks are basically…amazing. They totally reminded me of the movie Aladdin. They are narrow cobblestone ways overflowing with shops of all types. Bartering with sellers can be difficult at times but you can get an item for about half the asking price almost always. There are a lot of good deals with the exchange rate. I picked up a couple of gifts for my mom and sister for their birthdays as well as a Berber coat, a necklace with the palm of Fatima, and a leather bag.

[random rain on the first day.]

[fuck electricity.]

[THIS! this is the punk that got pissed because i wasn't answering him when he spoke to me in Arabic. i don't speak Arabic and i clearly said bonjour, ça va? him and his brother decided to scream at me in Arabic, English, and then French saying that they were saying "welcome"... his family has a very lovely shop.]

One of the best things I liked about Marrakech was how talented the people were with languages. Sellers speak Arabic and French perfectly but they are also able to speak some English and Spanish. Supposedly some of them are able to speak half a dozen languages.

Hammams are Morocco's public bathhouses. Most hammams are open some hours for men and some others for women, but others have separate rooms. Inside the Hammam you get a steam bath and then an exfoliating massage. You can also try the Turkish massage, a rather violent massage that can make each and everyone of your bones squeak. We never ended up going to a hammam despite the wishes of some of the girls.

There are so many stray cats in Marrakech. It's slightly ridiculous how many there are. They wander even in the restaurants.

Tea is an important part of Moroccan culture. Cinnamon tea is especially popular but I preferred the mint tea.

[tea shop.]

The hand of Fatima is a symbol which protects against evil eye.

We visited a marrackshi palace.

Morocco is not exactly the place to go to party. What I'm trying to say is if you're looking for a week to get wasted and dance till you drop at a nightclub, hit up Barcelona. I was told that alcohol is sold at only three locations in Marrakech. (I was offered hash on my last day in the city though.) Regardless, Djemma El Fnaa really comes alive at night. Surrounded by shops, kiosks, an elaborately decorated bank, restaurants and pavement cafes, the nearby Koutoubia Mosque, and the many streets that lead off the square like misshapen bicycle wheel spokes, the tiled paved square is the focus of events for locals and visitors alike. Known as the city marketplace that never sleeps, nocturnal drama appears every night of the week – especially on Saturday and Sunday nights. Outdoor restaurants are set up, snake charmers, old women doing henna, musical performers, a very annoying man who wants you to touch his monkey (it's an actual monkey), and fill the square.

One of my favourite parts of the entire stay in Morocco was our expedition to the Sahara desert. It was the five of us went with three American students and a gay Mexican guy named Daniel. We first drove for 8 hours through the Atlas Mountains. Then upon arriving in Ouarzazate we departed on a two hour camel ride into the desert. We reached a small camp run by a group of Berbers. The Berbers have lived in North Africa between western Egypt and the Atlantic Ocean for as far back as records go. The earliest inhabitants of the region are found on the rock art across the Sahara. They have lived in Morocco before the Arabs came into the valley area. I'm not Berber by the way. When we arrived at the camp, the people got very excited to see me. Once again, haha I am not Berber. (I'd get a lot of questions why I speaking in French not Arabic by the sellers. I'm not Arab either.) The people were so incredibly friendly and a lot of fun. The night sky I saw that night was simple amazing. I think it was the most beautiful night sky I will see in my entire life.

[cameleons not placed on me by choice... he wanted money afterward. i knew it.]

The journey back was quite interesting and drama appeared. Oh, did it ever. The vehicle was in repair and so we had to wait for 10 hours at a nearby hotel. It was a pleasant day but still. The tour guide left with the other group and when we spoke to him on the phone, he told us we had to pay 400 dirham for repairs or the driver would not take us back to Marrakech. Our driver named Yosif was a odd man. Nice but odd. He may or may not be a drug dealer (he made a lot of random stops in shady neighbours on the way home). He didn't really speak. Almost never actually. He did, however, have a habit of playing music from the early 90s on repeat for hours. I think I've heard Michael Jackson's "Heal the World" enough times to last my entire lifetime. I actually didn't mind the cheesy ballads though. lol I think I would just daze out and fall asleep. Maybe it was the amazing coffee he let me sip. It was probably the best coffee I've tried. I was probably drugged. The vehicle broke down just 5 minutes away from our hotel. The driver decided to get into a taxi that was passing by and leave. If you're thinking "OMG?!?!" then we think alike, my friend. Don't worry, he came back with oil. I ended up having to push the vehicle back onto the main road. What a crazy experience. I can't help but burst into laughter when I just think of it.

I really loved my stay in Morocco. I want to travel to more and see more things and speak more languages. I want to learn Arabic now!! It really is incredible now big the world is…

[the tower of a mosque that marks the Djamaa el Fnaa.]

[posh shopping area of Marrakesh.]

This week has been and will be very stressful. I'm leaving for London on the weekend and have many papers to finish before. But I'm happy. I'm so happy right now. I feel as though my life is beautiful. this.

Marrakech

2007-02-19T06:39:00.000-08:00

... I leave for my vacation this evening. (:

I finally feel in fairly good health again. I think I need this trip. I'm excited. Very excited.

A change of heart

2007-02-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

St. Valentine's Day. I've never really been into the whole pink- and- red- gushy- mushy- chocolate- kisses- add- a- dozen- red- roses- and- a- classy- restaurant- and- you've- got- love- you've- got- romance sort of festivities of the 14th of February. Not only, but partially, because I'm usually dwelling in the wonderful world of singlehood but mostly because I felt to celebrate was to give into corporate manipulation. I've felt this way for years. However, perhaps due to the overwhelming rush of bitterness I've seen toward V- Day or perhaps just simply to a development in wisdom, this year I came to the conclusion that it's actually really not so bad. I still believe that we shouldn't rely on one of the year to be coerced into what can be see as obligation to display romantic love. We should, though too many of us don't, take the time to make the unexpected little things keep the spark alive in our relationships throughout the year. Regardless, a day of love isn't so bad, is it? I really think there are far worse things that are promoted than love. All in all, what I'm rambling on and on about, I mean, "hehe", what I'm trying to say is....

Traffic Lights Party

2007-02-12T14:41:00.000-08:00

I thought nothing could top the insane sequence of drunken events accredited to my roommate David the night the group went to the Erasmus party at le mix nightclub. I was wrong. Right now I'm not sure if I should be understanding or really pissed off. I guess there's no better place to begin than the beginning…

I have been wanting to go out all week. It's an undeniable fact that the inhabitants of la maison have slowed down in outings, partying, and the like. Probably because of the amount of weekend trips that people are taking. I don't care. It's Thursday and I want to go out. David agrees. Naturally. No one else wants to go. It's raining. Apparently, they are descendents of the Wicked Witch of the West. Whatever.

It's now Friday. Oui, oui. Everyone left in la maison agrees to go out. Sweet! It's dinner and we're deciding where to go. David suggests Queen then changes his mind when someone tells him it's a gay club. He has a motto, you see, "Girls dance. Guys dance because girls dance and guys want girls." I want to go to Plage. 15 euros cover but it's supposedly bitchin'. The girls want to go to the traffic lights party at the stadium down the street. I suddenly don't want to go out. i sort of think this party sounds shitty and cheap. Apparently it's going to be filled with ghetto kids from the suburbs. I don't want to be knifed. I convince myself to be Mr. Brightside as per usual and go with it.

Btw: a traffic light party is where you wear green is you're single [go], red is you're in a relationship [stop], and yellow... uhh... proceed with caution? i don't know what in between for relationships means. i decide i'll wear yellow. i don't think i have a yellow shirt.

I find my Panda shirt. It's dark olive. Too close to green. I wear a white t-shirt, a black vest and ankle boots with my khatis. I hate my outfit. Whatever. We're going to a traffic lights party. Fuck it. I feel feverish and am running late. No time to pre-drink. I run up to Celidh's room. Wow. The girls look amazing. Each and every one of them is looking drop dead gorgeous tonight. Everyone is still pre-drinking. David can chug champagne. I hate carbonated drinks. I still don't pre-drink. I hate my outfit.

Ali, Caitlin, Celidh, Abby, Katrina, David

We walk to the stadium. We go in two groups. I wait for the other guys. We look inside. The room looks like a high school dance from a music video and there's no one in the room… What the fuck. David gets pissed off and wants to leave. He's already slurring. The security guard yells at me in French and tells us to wait outside if we're not going in yet. We're searching for the other club. Martin's phone has GPS. How sick is that? Or maybe this is common… I'm not very technological. Or logical.

A group of chicks pass us. We decide to go now. The girl collecting cover is so sexy. She smiles at me. «Bonsoir. » I notice there are stairs and don't fall. The place is still dead. We meet the girls. Katrina is loving the ridiculousness of this. I compliment her and Celidh on their outfits. Celidh is so Lindsay Lohan tonight" or so Katrina says. She admits to being obsessed with celebrity gossip. No one is dancing. I don't want to take off my jacket yet. I hate my outfit. I walk up to the bar and order a Screwdriver. «Vodka et jus d'orange» I say remembering that French bartenders not only cannot mix drinks but do not know their names. I have to buy a coupon first. I do. A gay guy in a super tight red spandex t-shirt asks me I speak English. « Non, un billet pour la hard liquor, s'il vous plaît. » Too creepy. Plus there was definite B.O. I get my drink. I drink my drink. A girl at the bar asks me if my eye colour is real. I smile and walk away before I get poked in the eye again. I find my friends. Samantha is teaching Martin how to grind. This is not a pretty sight. Ali is laughing. I couldn't help but do so now. I decide to get another drink. The girls we saw go inside before us are crazy. They're now gliding across the wooden dancefloor like speed skaters. I want to cry. So I have another drink. Everyone is looking at Ken. Sam is drunk. She dropped Ken's beer on the floor. Don't worry. David felt Sam up to make things better. The two continue to grind to the semi decent music which is beginning to play. Abby runs towards us as Britney's "Toxic" start with that recognizable melody. Abby dances like no one is watching and I mean no one. I love her for it. Ali says I should start dancing. She says "I know you have it in you". "Clearly," I think. "Did I not outdance everyone at the last three clubs we went to, bitch?" I decide to put my coat into coat check. They have no hangers. They put my coat into a plastic bag and labelled it then tossed it into a massive heap of plastic bags. I hate my outfit and it is now exposed for all of the clubbers to see. What the fuck am I thinking? These people are clubbers. Half of them are drunk already and a few have joined in with the speed skating psychos. I decide to go to the toilettes. Maybe if my hair is bitchin', my outfit won't matter as much. Line up. I meet David. He's drunk. We speak in French. Well, Franglish. I decide to wait in line to pee. I didn't have to pee. Oh well. My hair looks great. I hate my outfit. I walk across the dancefloor. People are dancing. Some quite well. I'm impressed by an Asian dude. "Billy Jean" comes on. People go insane. I decide to watch for this one. I feel like I'm being a snob so I dance. Just make the most of the night! David is mauling Sam. She's enjoying every moment. Katrina wants to talk photos. We take a zillion. I think I'm going to be permanent blinded. The flash, I mean. Some guy keeps trying to grab Abby's ass. I intersect. Ali is impressed. Repeat. We dance more. David kisses Sam. Finally. The girls freak out. Abby and Ali decide to leave.

Ali and myself are attacked by Katrina

Celidh, Caitlin, Katrina, Martin, Ken

Katrina is a pimp. Hem.

A random sketch decided to fall in love with Abby at coat check.

Ali and Abby are leaving early.

I want a cigarette. Katrina and Caiti go to the toilettes. The Caitlin is dancing with Ken. Martin and Celidh are dancing together. David and Sam… are somewhere. I dance by them. I hate my outfit. I want a cigarette. This whole dancing by people thing feels awkward. Some guy tries to punch Martin. Martin's friends attack the guy. I hate my outfit. I want a cigarette. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. I ask Ken where David is. He doesn't know. I assume by the bar. Katrina and Caiti come back. Katrina has no cigarettes on her tonight. I hate my outfit. I want a cigarette. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. I want to leave. I can't see Katrina or Caiti anymore. The guy tries to fight Martin again. Celidh falls. I like her shoes. The sex.

We all continue to dance as the music gets more Euro beatesque. I hate my outfit. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. I decide to sit but there's no where to sit so I lean against a support beam. The girls beside me standing at the wall are laughing at this guy in a striped hoodie who is really into the song… too into the song for his own good. I smirk at their laughter. It's a shame they aren't dancing. I mean, they're laughing at the guy spazzing out on the dancefloor but they're those girls. You know, those girls who stand against the wall at high school dances. Hoping a "cute" boy will choose them to slow dance with. That's what this is. It's not a club event. It's a fucking high school dance. Hence my awkward emotions. Ick. I hate my outfit. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. This is a high school dance. I want to leave.

Celidh falls again. Martin helps her up. She's tipsy. Caitlin is drunk and hangs onto Ken's barely-there bod for dear life. Where the fuck is Katrina and Caiti? I hate my outfit. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. This is a high school dance. I want to leave. This overwhelming uncontrollable feeling of uneasiness overcame me. I knew I was thin. This was no surprise but I never saw it as a bad thing. I just always accepted it as a fact of life. I am a waif but a healthy waif. I don't diet. I eat more than the average person… more than almost anyone I know. But I suddenly feel disgusted. Especially by my thin wrists. I put my hands in my pockets. It helps. For a minute. No more. I hate my outfit. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. This is a high school dance. I want to leave. Correction: I am leaving.

I walk across the floor. I meet Javir. We wish each other. He walks with me. He is distracted by a blonde girl. I don't bother to say goodbye. I meet Martha. She's cut her hair. I preferred her with long hair. Her choice. She speaks to me in Italian and then remembers I don't speak Italian. Switches to Franglish. I tell her I'm leaving. She asks "Why so early?" I tell her, "I've been at this dance… I mean, club too long."

I go to coat check. I hand the guy my ticket. He seems confused and starts searching through the bags. I see two girls looking through the piles of bags. Caiti and Katrina. What the fuck? They've lost Katrina's coat. They're making her look for it herself. The guy puts down my ticket and talks someone else's. «Je m'excuse, monsieur. Mon manteau? » He ignores me. I hate my outfit. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. This is a high school dance. I want to leave. I can't leave because this stupid motherfucking idiot can't find my coat. The French girl next to me has a fit and bitches out the coat check guy. He finds my coat. Katrina finds her coat. Martin collects Celidh's coat for her. I hate my outfit. This feels awkward. I don't like this feeling at all. This is a high school dance. I want to leave. I am leaving.

I can't find David. Ken and Caitlin are still somewhere around so David and Sam can just leave with them. It's pouring when we get outside. At least we're leaving. Celidh loses her left shoe. She falls onto the ground when trying to pick it up. Hilarious. I joke about David and Sam disappearing and how I hope they better not be having sex in my bed.

We get back to la maison. I'm wet but glad to be home. I unlock my door, turn on the lights, and see David in his boxers breathing heavily over Sam in his bed. I turn around and slam the door. LOLOL This, my friends, was possibly the funniest thing to have happened during the entire time I've been in Paris. I burst into laughter. I was going to fall to floor but my buzz was gone so I thought that this would be far too overdramatic and decided to keep my composer. I went into the main hallway where I met Caiti, Katrina, and a tipsy Celidh. I stand in front of Katrina and quietly say: "I may have to sleep on your floor tonight." Katrina's reaction: "whAAAT?! David. Sam. ARE YOU SERIOUS??" We burst into laughter. She tells me we have to go get your mattress and pillow cos I can't just sleep on the floor. I knew this was just an excuse to check out the scene. The girls followed me into the room. Katrina decided to make the situation worse by making very loud remarks about how awkward this must be for David. Lmao. I push them out the door and drag my mattress upstairs. Then Celidh says I can just sleep on her floor since it's closer than going to Katrina's room. I agree. Celidh doesn't have her key. She says Caitlin must be inside the room sleeping. I thought Cailtin and Ken were still at the dance. The other Caiti says that she saw Caitlin and Ken leave while they were searching for Katrina's coat. Celidh knocks on her door. No answer. Repeat. No answer. Katrina giggles. I knew what she was thinking. I was thinking the same. She walks to Ken's room. Sure enough. Ken in his boxers and Cailtin flush and awkward. HAHAHA!! Katrina took the key from Cailtin. We all depart. Celidh is still kind of drunk but she was trying to seem sober by falling into things in her room gracefully. I fell asleep after eating half a bag of M&Ms while she was washing her face and doing whatever it was she was doing. Cailtin tries to quietly return from Ken's room hours later. She isn't so quiet. She'd never make a good adulteress. Or maybe she would. After all, she does have a boyfriend. He's just miles away. At least until next week. Uh oh. Drama!!

"Oh! What a night..."

[that was for you Miss. Caitlyn Craig]

Please note: that is my mattress on Celidh's floor because my room turned into the Love Shack for the evening.

This morning: I awake up. I keep thinking about how awkward I felt last night. I go back to my room. David is gone. So is Sam. The room doesn't smell like sex. I feel frustrated. I hate that I am so thin. I look in the mirror. I have my usual the morning-after look. I think it's the only time when I'm actually satisfied with the way I look. I know. That sounds weird. The bad thing about the morning-after look is it gets washed away by the time you shower. It has such a short life span. I am feeling slightly dehydrated. I'll drink milk but first reach for my last Evian bottle. It's empty. What? I had one left. I'm sure. I have a good memory. I remembered exactly what happened and am retelling this entire story to you, after all. He drank my last Evian bottle. HE DRANK MY LAST EVIAN BOTTLE. Argh.

Which brings me to what I was saying at the beginning of this blog… I'm torn between being understanding or being pissed off. He drinks my champagne. He never buys the toilet paper. He finishes my butter. He masterbates in the sink. He uses the coat hooks to hang all his scarves. He leaves the balcony door open when it's freezing. He put spoiled cheese in the fridge and it's left a distinct smell whenever we open the door. He's always drunk. He eats chips in the bathroom. He takes forever to choose his clothes when we go out. But yeah, I think I'll be understanding. When push comes to shove, I guess he's not so bad.

Fin. (:

what's a boy to do without his hummus?

2007-02-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

i've developed an undeniable addiction to hummus. every day i go to the boulangerie by the stadium and buy a baguette. i eat half the baguette with hummus and half the baguette with nutella. [a blog on nutella shall appear sometime in the near future. love.]

last night i finish the last of my 200g container of Champion-brand hummus. i didn't have much time between classes so i made a quick run to the closest supermarché. to my surprise they didn't have hummus. [clearly, they hate vegetarians trying to stay fed in a meat-loving Paris, those from the Middle East, and, of course, me. i kid!] so i bought guacamole... which i will never do again. lol i like avacado, i like lime. but after dipping my piece of baguette into this avacado-based [supposed] delicacy and putting it into my mouth... i was not expecting this taste. total state of shock. i didn't know what to do. total state of panic. it wasn't just not good tasting, it was UGH. i could taste the garlic but it would not mask the taste of everything else that was giving me a headrush of ew-ew. i swallowed and thought "it simply needs to be mixed". WRONG.

meet a killer:

What is hummus you ask? Hummus is a [super delicious] chickpea (paste) and tahini (sesame seed paste) dip, with flavorings such as olive oil, garlic, paprika, and lemon juice.

Hummus is an Arabian (Middle Eastern) dish and not Greek. It is said that its origins trace back to the Sultan Saladin, a veteran of the Crusades, who enjoyed cooking as a pastime. His experiments with hummus purportedly resulted in the creation of the Sultan's Forty Spice variety, which spawned many imitations and has been a Middle Eastern favorite for centuries.

Hummus is a nutritious food, containing a large amount of protein, dietary fiber, iron, and (depending on the recipe) varying amounts of mono-unsaturated fat. It's is great for vegetarians and vegans.

adore the thing i put into my mouth every night:

*sigh* what's a boy to do without his hummus?

For more details on hummus: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hummus

an unexpected taste of vodka and lime

2007-02-03T10:50:00.000-08:00

last night, the few people in la maison who didn't go to switzerland, barcelona, sweden, or the netherlands went to le louvre. there was a problem in the station and we had to evacuate. we didn`t end up getting to the musuem until 9. it closes at 10 but they start ushering people out at around 9h30. after our short visit, we decided to grab something to eat in the latin quarter. jess had a craving for nachos and i could always do with a margarita. jokingly we said we must find a place like that... and we did. MARGARITA!!!! d'accord, i assumed: "paris, no margaritas." wrong. we found a crazy mexican family restaurant. pretty good nachos. get the nachos not super nachos. super nachos are smaller, more expensive and come with fewer chips.

my sombrero was ripped . . .

... but i had my MARGARITA!!!! (:

in the words of lily allen: "everything's just wonderful, i'm havin' the time of my life."

le mix

2007-01-26T09:55:00.000-08:00

i feel like i'm getting sick. or on the verge of it. i hate that. i want to drink some neocitran but the kettle broke. i tried microwaving some water but that made the water taste like vomit. so i might try boiling some on the stove soon.

i'm tired right now. we went out last night. not a big group of us. just my closer friends: david, ceilidh, katrina, and kate. a couple of the graduate students in the house went with us too. (i just found out mike is leaving the house in a week... i thought he said he was staying for a month longer... which makes sense since i've been here for almost a month.) we went to the mix club. it was huge. david got... so so so drunk. like unbelievably drunk. it was pretty bad. i think i've mentioned that he gets drunk every night and when he's really drunk he cannot really speak (sounds like he's had a stroke). but last night was the worst. and he even said it. like he couldn't speak properly, he kept falling, it looked like he didn't knwo where he was, he kept like grabbing hold of the girls in our group. one of the grad students is a german girl named judith. he kept trying to kiss her and mess up her hair. then he vanished. lol i didn't really dance much. we kept getting separated from each other and most of the night was spend looking for each other through the crowds. we stayed until 4 am. (clubs here don't reallly close until morning) in the coat check line david started to like grab and shake katrina. and she's so small. lol luckily ken pulled him aside. i didn't know whether to stop him or let him shake her because i didn't know if she cared or not seeing as we're friends but she cared. when we were leaving and i'm like "wait...where's david, kate?" and she says "well, he's not in front of us so i guess he's still downstairs. i'm like "we can't just LEAVE him here!!" so i went back downstairs and ceilidh came too. we found him. he was just aimlessly standing by the stairs staring out. lol he was walking in front of me on the stairs and he seriously fell ever few seconds. (someone is staring at me right now and making me feel uncomfortable ANYWAY gr) we had to go in three separate taxis so i went in the first on with martin, katrina, and abby.

when i got back to la maison i wanted to buy m&ms and a machiato so i did. i didn't eat the m&ms. thankfully, my skin is going insane... ugh. well, not insane. just not good enough. anyway, david arrived afterward with the german girl, judith, and ken. omg. lol when saying bonne nuit, he kept kissing her goodbye on the cheek and she's like you have to take care of him. lol what was i suppose to do other than put him to bed? lol. anyway, he changed and went to sleep so i washed my face. drank tons of water. and brushed my teeth because i realized i smoked last night (i know... lol i shouldnt have and i said i wouldn't b/c i was sick). while i'm brushing the lights go out. lol he turned off the fuse instead of the lights in the room. anyway, i rinse, stumble through the darkness into bed, and go to sleep. i hear the crinkling of a water bottle in my sleep. suddenly, i feel like someone jumped over me and my bed. then i hear a noise and see a light shining into the room. so i go and look down the entrance hallway and david had opened our door lol. i think because he couldn't figure out how to turn on the lights since he switched off the fuse. then he went into the bathroom. so i closed the door and went back into bed. then i feel like someone has sat next to me on my bed. lol then he started jumping up and down on my bed while sitting if that makes sense. goes back into the bathroom and started making sex noises. the tap begins to run and he comes out. i'm like "um, david, did you go out somewhere? the door was open..." and he's like "um, no. but people came into our room." "what? people came into our room?" "yeah! they just came into our room somehow in the middle of the night." "which people, david?" "nevermind, it's cool." "david, someone opened the door and came into our room?" "yeah, man." "WHAT?!" "it's cool. it's cool." "david, the shower is running." "no, it's the tap." "okay, the tap is still running." "yeah, man." "why...?" "cos of the thing i did." "what?" "nevermind, it's cool." "um, okay." then he went back into the bathroom and turned off the tap. he comes out and sits on my bed and starts with the noises. "david? what are you doing?" the noises stop. "nothing." "why aren't you asleep?" "because of the people." "the ones that came into our room?" "yeah... they tried to drown me. did you see them?" "no one was in our room, david. i would have known if someone came in." "my bed is soaked." so i get up and check and sure enough his bed was like drenched. i'm patting the sheets and hoping the liquid wasn't related to the noises i heard earlier. i was just water. probably the crinkling noise i heard earlier. i tell him that he must have dropped his water bottle in his sleep and no one was in our room. he responds with "but what about the people who were in our room?" "i don't know... " "that makes - that makes two people who don't know. me and you." lol then he gets dressed and says "i have to go sleep with someone - i mean, in someone else's bed tonight cos mine is wet."

lol i recapped the entire night for him this afternoon when i woke up. we went to get crepes with abby and katrina, then to the boulangrie. i actually love how i look in the-morning-after state. (especially with big black sunglasses.) we're going to the cinema tonight so see hors de prix with audrey tautou. i didn't like amelie but for some reason i like audrey. à la prochaine.

outside le mix.

avec Abby.

Katrina, Ceilidh, Abby, moi.

Les Marais

2007-01-25T12:51:00.000-08:00

Olivier, my architecture prof, took our class to Le Marais in the 4eme. This area is known for being the Jewish and gay district, though it is also dense in historical architecture. The tour focused on the structure of the hotel and passage-ways.

The Colonne de Juillet is a momument to the Revolution of 1830. It stands in the center of the Place de la Bastille. The column is engraved in gold with the names of Parisians who died during the revolution. The gold-covered statue at the top is called the Génie de la Liberté/ the Spirit of Freedom. It also appeared on old French ten-franc coins. Today, demonstrations still occur at the Colonne de Juillet.

The Hôtel de Sens is a city palace. It was originally owned by the archbishops of Sens. The building is in between late Gothic and early Renaissance style, and now houses the Forney art library.

St. Peter and St. Paul's Catholic Church. Absolutely beautiful.

The Place des Vosges is the oldest square in Paris. It was originally called the Place Royale. The Place des Vosges was built by Henri IV from 1605 to 1612. A true square (140 m x 140 m), it was the first program of royal city planning, built on the site of the Hôtel des Tournelles and its gardens. At a tournament at the Tournelles, a royal residence, Henri II was wounded and died. Catherine de Medicis had the Gothic pile demolished and moved to the Louvre.

Mhm, that's me in center with the fur top coat.

And this part in specific would be the place where I saw a girl who must have been a couple of years younger than me and was born to be a model:

musée des arts et des métiers

2007-01-25T04:00:00.000-08:00

paris certainly seems to love museum! musée des arts et des métiers was quite interesting. It was created off the basis of l'Encyclopédie (or dictionnaire raisonné des sciences, des arts et des métiers). I liked the room with the everyday technology (different cameras and televisions). Here are some photos from our visit there:

Machine de Marly (1684). This machine was built by a carptener-mechanist named René Sualem (aka Rennequin). It was used for raising water from the Seine to flow through the fountains and ornamental lakes in the gardens of Versailles. The machine is famous for its expectional size and the mahcinery it incororates.

Microscopie électronique à transmission Siemens (1973). The microscope was used for studying cancerous viruses and normal and diseased human cells then for research on various types of animal cells.

Lavoisier's Lab.

le nix nox

2007-01-20T08:57:00.000-08:00

So apparently I'm easily convinced because I ended up going to that boat club event. I wasn't going to go. I showered and had planned a nice restful night in chilling and listening to music. Maybe Feist and some champagne. But then Ceilidh convinced me otherwise. Okay, well, it didn't take too much convincing since everyone looked so incredibly nice last night. I managed to get ready, pre-drink, and leave with the first group for la metro all within 30 minutes.

The boat was called le nix nox. Slightly humorous? I thought so. It was on La Seine just outside the Bercy metro station. I had a lot, a lot, a lot of fun last night - it's 13h30 and I just woke up. Guys didn't have to wait outside on the street for this one. I was glad to hear this because David is in Luxembourg till Monday and I didn't want to be the only guy from our group and have to wait alone outside. (Ken from la maison and Steve did come though.)

They play Top 40 mostly. Totally fine with me!! Drinks were hella cheap for Paris (€2 for biere and €3 for hard liquor). haha I keep speaking Franglish. The people were really friendly and social. So many people talked to me in the lines and no one asked me if I was a gyspy (: . Anyway, people were so generous with their cigarettes. Oh, while on the topic of cigarettes... I smoke. :O lol. Only at a club or a bar and not in Canada. We have a system. The girls will let a guy approach them, give them a cigarette and lit it for them, they take a few puffs, subtly hand it over to moi, then they finish it off when I return it to them and we leave for the dancefloor again. haha muah!

Even though Canadians are better dancers, I've found. Okay, MUCH better. I do like how the French are just free and fun with their dancing. Guys dance too and they dance WITH the girl. They don't stand, hover behind her, and then go for the bump and grind when they have enough confidence built up. People don't really grind in general here to be honest.

Since drinks were so cheap, I decided to get tipsy. I pre-drank an entire bottle of champagne and then had 4 screwdrivers in about 15 minutes. Only 4 you say? Where are my usual other 3 drinks for the typical 7 to get me drunkedy drunk? They mix drinks differently here. Alcohol is the majority of the cup and then orange juice is added. Love it!!! hahaha. I cannot believe someone actually said "My rum and coke is too strong. It's like there's double. It's like it should be called double rum and coke." [OH, Stepahnie's signature drink! lmao]

To be completely honest, whenever I seem off balance when drunk, it's usually because I don't care to try to balance myself. I feel stuff but my balance is pretty good if I tried to keep composed. I didn't feel that tipsy until I fell to the floor when I got back to my room. I'm so glad David is gone for the weekend and did not have to see that. Hm lol. Though come to think of it he's worse. He seems like he's had a stroke when he tries to talk while drunk. It's actually kinda scary. lol I tried to sober up with baguette and humus. Didn't really help but t'was rather YUM, bébé.

Studying in Beautiful Surroundings

2007-01-12T14:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Diary,

HA! I'm just kidding. Anyway, lol, it's been a while. Or a couple days. Which seems like quite a bit of time because a lot has happened.

Yesterday we went to Muséem National D'Historie Naturelle to see La Grande Galerie De L'Evolution. It was pretty cool actually. The building itself is quite astonishing. The outside looks like an old European school with a massive garden. But from the inside, the place is very modern looking. The ceilings are so high. I didn't see any mongooses though. Pft…

Classes have began. My classes with Dominique are interesting but not because of him lol. Frankly, he's quite confusing and slightly boring. (Though I am a tough nut to crack.) In any case, his first lecture was basically suppose to sum up the economic history of French agriculture. Naturally, he decided to start with PRE-HISTORIC MAN. Ugh. Our classroom isn't really a classroom. It's the banquet hall off the side of the lobby. It's weird to have class downstairs from where you live. For film, Alice Carven is my prof. She's lived here for 15 years but lived in NYC and North Carolina prior. She's so nice! Her husband (who I thought was gay haha) also teached at AUP. He's stylish and smart and seems like he'll teach us a lot about the city. We had a wine-and-cheese after the lecture yesterday to get to know the professors and each other. Free wine. I don't really like French cheeses to be honest. The smell is so strong that I want to vomit. Pérdon. But it's the coldhearted truth.

[a note for my ego: i was crouching and leaning against the wall. i am the tallest in the photo... except ken behind the bookshelf. hmph.]

After dinner last night we all went out. I didn't really feel like going and assumed the night would be totally NOT fun in comparison to a Toronto club. (Oh, btw: I must have my birthday party this year in NYC. Seriously. Yeah, def. Plan ahead. Save up, do what you must. I want it to actually happen. NYC. For October 9^th. Okay?) We predrank in Maggie's and Ali's room. Turns out the French friend I made in the kitchen speaks English and is actually from Vancouver. His name is Mike. Ken, the Alberta-native from my hallway, joined the Guelph group too. We took the RER and planned to go to the Erasmus party at Club Mix but at the last minute Mike convinced us to go the one at Planet Hollywood on the Champs D'Elysee. On La Metro our group was intoxicated and so we became the rowdy group. We did meet a Chippendale though. He seemed very angry at first by our outright Anglophone-ness. But it turns out, as he would later explain as we changed trains, that he simply wanted to speak to us. He looked like the model Tyson but he was slightly shorter than me. It's ridiculous. I was jealous. Ugh. Anyway, lol, I got to see L'Arc de Triomphe ! It's my favourite tourist attraction in Paris. It's just so posh and upscale there. So that was rad and stuff lol. Mike couldn't get us in straight away with his connection because we were a group of 20 but the line up was short. When you go inside you can put on a tag that says your native country's name. Clearly, I chose Jamaïque lmao. (Don't worry, Kendra, I represented !) The people at the desk were like "Um, peut-être l'Espagne?" "NON, Jamaïque, Jamaïque!!" haha. The line up for coat check was like 30 minutes. Some randoms tried pushing their way to the front but Maggie called security on their asses. Mike was telling us about a fight the broke out last week when he was in the line and another on Halloween where he knocked this guy out in front of L'Arc de Triomphe dressed up as Fred Flintstone lolol. So funny!! I got Screwdrivers. Apparently, in Paris they do not use shot glasses to measure the amount of alcohol to add and if they like you, you get a bit more. The bitchy bartender liked me thankfully. (: I got to talk to a bunch of people from my group that I haven't really seen or got an opportunity to speak to yet. Usually there's only 5 of us who go out – David, Katrina, Abby, Ceilidh (pronounced Kaylee), and moi of course! Afterward, I decided to find the others on the dancefloor. We danced for hours and I LOVED it! This girl from Spain came to talk to me for a while. Unfortunately, I was unable to convince her that I'm actually not from Jamaïque but that I am actually Spanish. She went back to dance with her group. Shitty. But we did manage to meet a group from Ireland, including LOL Irish Dan. Quite a hilarious chap, I must say. In Parisian clubs, it looks like guys usually dance on the platforms and try to show off their moves. I was walking past a platform and Mike pulled me up. Man, dancing on elevated surfaces is SO much fun! Trouble broke out though and I didn't even notice. When the spotlight turned onto me, I was blinded and at that same time a drunkard started throwing himself on Jess and squeezing her boob but Mike and Irish Dan started fighting him back. At the same time as THAT was happening, a group of 6 dudes started grabbing Cintia. Where was I? Dancing my ass off to Bob Marley. I had no idea what was happening but everything worked out cool. (Note to self: I owe Mike 5 € for the cab ride home.) When I got back, I took a hot hot shower and then heard knocking on the door. It was David and he lost his key. (Be borrowed my key cause he wanted to do something after he got back. How mysterious. Not to worry because he ended up finding his key. But then I lost my key when he returned it to me. But then I found it. So, all in all, fear not.) He was so drunk! He could speak and at the club, he ended up grinding… well, "grinding"… on two of the girls from our group. It was more of a drunken pelvis collision, followed by swaying offbeat. Katie's eyes kept rolling back when their bodies touched. I think that was the icing on the cake.

Today, I slept in till 3h30. Waw. We went to Le Louvre from 6 to 10 pm though so the day was not wasted. It's… GIANTIC. I heard it was big but it's b-i-g. We got through half of one floor and that's supposedly an accomplishment as most people only get through a quarter of a floor. The group I went with saw the Italian paintings, the Spanish paintings, and the French paintings in the Denon gallery. T'was mighty snazzy. I think I like the Italian painting the best. When I was looking at the subtle details in the Italian works, they were amazing. The French paintings were much larger and focused on war scenes. Oh, I saw the Mona Lisa and La Venus De Milo. The Mona Lisa was much smaller than the other paintings in the gallery but I thought it was beautiful nonetheless. I don't think it's overrated like everyone says either. I loved it. I want to go back and check out some of the African and Islamic artwork too. Anyway, bonne nuit/goodnight!

La Tour Eiffel

2007-01-08T11:04:00.000-08:00

last night we all went downtown to see La Tour Eiffel. i've only ever seen it during the day and wasn't impressed. it was absolutely beautiful during the night. i couldn't believe how large it was. the coolest thing happens too. at a certain time it starts to sparkle. i was able to capture the sparkling in some photos. we decided not to go up this time though. there weren't too many people cos supposedly january is slow for tourism in Paris. which suits me just dandy. there weren't many ppl trying to sell us things either which was nice. no one shot mechanical birds at me this time either!

afterward we went to a chinese restaurant. was pretty good. this tourist area was the only place i've heard english being spoken since we've got here. when we got back david, me, katrina, and abby watched Lucky Number Slevin in the lounge. it was twisted and lovely. then we tried to order a pizza but apparently everything is closed on sundays. we met a girl doing her masters here from montreal. she spoke english and was giving us tips on living in Paris.

€0,87 champagne

2007-01-06T02:06:00.000-08:00

the café is closed on weekends so we went to a nearby bakery to buy breakfast. it was alright since the prices there are actually very decent and the food is tasty and fresh. i had un chausson aux pomme.

dominique outlined several places we should check out around the university. we (david, katrina, abby, and myself) went about exploring Paris this afternoon. the buildings are so simple and beautiful here. i love the white stone with the black iron railings. i've also noticed that despite the large number of people, there streets show no sign of hustle-and-bustle like most metropolises.

we decided to take a break from walking and just relax. the Parisian lifestyle must be working its way into our lives already. we stayed there for hours but it didn't matter because life is about taking your time and just enjoying.

oh, I bought a monthly metro pass (carte d'orange) for €52,50.

i fear weight loss. i am eating less and exercising more with all this walking. ugh.

at the grocery store, we found €0,87 champagne. we each bought one for pre-drinking. i didn't feel like going out tonight so i didn't drink mine as of yet. i want my first experience at a Parisian discotech to be more than slightly WOW. i like WOW things, you see.

i finished my baguette and questionable French bottled water. A+

Arrival

2007-01-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

Please ignore typos. The keyboards in France are different.

Now, there's no better place to begin than the beginning I suppose. The security measures were not as strict as I expected them to be. Minus the first check where I was nearly stripped searched before a queue of travelers. Fortunately, my pre-flight push ups were not needed.

While waiting in the boarding lounge, I thought I saw my group but thankfully I did not go up to them as they were, in fact, not my group. There were so many young people on my flight, including a Kendra look-alike. The girl seemed like an evil version of Kendra. She worn all black and had curly jet black hair, but she did smile a lot. Totally gorgeous. I overheard her telling a passenger sitting next to her that she is doing her masters in Paris but worked here over the past year. Wow!

Onto the rest of my flight though. It was the best flight I've ever taken. (Zoom Airlines btw.) While flying over Brighton, UK, I looked down and the entire city was illuminated by a bright orange light. It appeared as though we were flying over the world as it ended. lol No dramatics, promise. It appeared as though we were hovering over a land covered in molten lava and a blackened sea that came to an end. It was an amazing sight! Shortly after, at an altitude of 37 000 ft, France came into view. There were fewer lights than in Brighton. The land seemed as it was decorated in silver and bronze bulbs.

By now, the plane had already felt French as we picked up the majority of passengers in Montreal after leaving Toronto. It was a very Francophone journey.

When we arrived in Charles de Gaulle airport, I was prepared for masses of pickpocketers. The horror stories of this airport were clearly exaggerations of tired/bitter travelers. The air was cold when we stepped off the aircraft and said 6am. I walked on the runway toward the shuttle that awaited our arrival. The Kendra look-alike was spotted again. After collecting my luggage, I met the group outside in the lounge. We walked, then, to the RER station. Kendra's evil double was seen again and sadly for the last time… perhaps. Getting through the turnstiles with our luggage was a very difficult task indeed. You see, since most Parisians are waifs (thankfully!), and as such you must turn your suitcase on its side and then drag it under the bars. Good times! The RER is similar to what I remember of La Metro. I took a deep breath in while we were going down the escalator and finally was fully excited. I was in Paris.

My roommate, David, is quite friendly. He's older and is pretty social. His French is very good. I'm waiting for him to get back now. We're suppose to be going to a bar he's read about. It's minutes away from La Tour Eiffel in this chic young area downtown.

Back to my story though…Getting off the train was probably the most difficult part of the journey. My bulky suitcase did not make it very easy when it came to pulling it onto the platform. The woman behind me was in a hurry too. Waw! I had a burning sensation in my palms by the time we reached La Cité Universitaire. The place is gorgeous. I feel like I'm walking through a foreign film. Yayayaya!!

La Maison des Etudiants Canadien (MEC) is very modern. The Argentina House is better, but only because it's a palace lol. My room is quite small but I am thin so I'll be just dandy. There is a balcony like in Gwen's "Cool" video. The other students in the house are so friendly. Dominique, my professor, told us that it is seen as impolite not to greet someone in passing. I love that! I was overwhelmed by my proficiency in French while on the plane but I think I'll be alright by the end.

We walked to the mall to get food from the grocery store. It's weird how similar some things are to Canada. I just ate baguette, cheese, and an apple.

I decided to walk around the building and went to the kitchen. There were students from the University of Paris cooking. They were so friendly and warm. I wish I had stayed longer but I had to go. Just like I must now. Until next time. Sha la la le la…

Latin Quarter

2007-01-04T23:07:00.000-08:00

i need to buy a metro pass. people here seem to rely heavily on walking or La Metro. the underground system here is supposedly world famous for speed and efficiency. it's rather confusing to me still but hopefully that'll improve shortly.

last night, we, a group of 5 of us, took La Metro to the Latin Quarter. the latin quarter is the area near the University of Paris. the name derives from the latin language, which was widely spoken during the middle ages in and around the university. the latin quarter reminds me of an Arabian market in ways. It is filled with winding narrow streets that overflow with restaurants and bars. it is loud and vibrant. Ze Bar offered us drunk dancing waitresses and bartenders who wore oversize white trousers and face paint. [Oh, and I kid you not about the name of this establishment… it was actually called Ze Bar.] we had beers there and then walked down the street to Sangria 6C not too far away. it was much wilder than the first bar. the place was basically a dancefloor with tables surrounding it. there were a lot of horny fellows in the place. the insanely excited waiter brought us litre-sized mugs of Heineken beers.

we walked back to La Cité because La Metro had stopped for the night by this time. we stopped at Notre Dame and some of them posed like gargoyles while i smiled bashfully in the light mist that was falling. it's weird that we just stumble upon these famous buildings randomly. they're just part of the backdrop for the everyday Parisian i suppose. we peed in the washrooms of a very classy lounge. it was hot. the walk back somehow took two hours. i doubt i will ever need to take the Guelph transit to class again lol.

the sky is grey today. like yesterday. perhaps it is a theme? david and i are going to try to grab breakfast soon and some of us are going to venture out this afternoon.

oh, here's a photo of La Cité:

Poems

2007-01-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

Hey. I've posted a collection of poems I've written over the past 3 years. They've all been copyrighted to AllPoetry.com. (Just saying... that wasn't suppose to sound presumptuous or anything, because most of these works seem... young... to me.)

30 March 2006

Two

two. you were there. i was here. thinking of you. dark night. cold night. cold heart. warm bodies. moving close. touch first. taste later. push now. pull now. deep penetration. energy radiates. tingling toes. rise and fall. smell of sex. smell of you. rest a while but gone before morning. two.

4 March 2006

Desperately

I am here
Missing what's missing.
A reflection of my wanting,
A temporal being
Reaching for the Spiritual
Searching for you in desperation.
In desperation, I dream;
Too afraid of the truth
I dream of the pretty lights
And you, so desperately…

15 October 2005

I'm In Love With You

But please don't tell me,
Where to go;
Cos hell's too far
From your heavenly body.

And please don't speak,
If you don't love me
The same way;
Cos my heart can
Only mend so much.

So what I'm saying is I love...

Um, I love
When you smile like that.
And your eyes,
Your eyes could devour me
With just one glance.

So what I'm saying is I love...
So what I'm saying is I love...
I'm trying to say

It's so hard to tell how much
I care;
Because,
Because infinite love is a
Hard figure to express.

Oh, please don't stand so close
Cos your breathe
Makes my heart race

And please don't speak so sweetly
Cos your soft talk
Makes things get oh so hard

Oh, no
Please don't tease me your lips
So soft and sweet
Just one kiss would only leave me
Wanting more

So bare with me and I will
Be there forever.

So just listen to what I'm saying
My Heart is in your hands
But my tongue is tangled up...
My Heart is in your hands
But my tongue is...

I'm in love with you.

8 Sept 2005

The Feeling of Yellow

Yellow plays a different tune,
It sings a lullaby,
A song of safety.

Yellow plays the warmest of warm,
It's sunshine and summer days,
Deepest of embrace.

Yellow plays like a child,
It's marshmallows and a mother's love,
A dream of infinite yesteryear.

24 Aug 2005

Time

Watch the time running
Run, run down your face.
Facing the façade before the inevitable,
Facing the little white lies.

Watch the time bleeding
Bleed, bleed from your eyes.
Eyes replaced by bloodsockets,
Eyes that could never really see.

Watch the time tick
"Tick, tock. Tick, tock," sings the clock.
Clocking away with its arrogant smirk,
Clocking away melodically and haunting us forever.

10 June 2005

The One

I am quiet
Yet my heart speaks volumes
Your smile transcends deep
Deep within me
Because I've never felt like this
I've never felt this way
Before

You're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've, that I've been waiting for…

Excuse the clichés
But you make me
All that I've ever wanted to be…

You think I don't care
You think I don't notice
But I'm just scared
And so mistaken…

But you're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've, that I've been waiting for

Every time I look at you
You make me feel this way
I feel I'll never feel like this
So come on, baby, come

Every time I close my eyes
I always seem to realize
How much you really mean to me
You really mean so much to me
Never underestimate
These unspoken words I advocate
For your body, soul, and affection

You're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've, that I've been waiting for…
You're the one for me
You're the one I need
You're the girl of my dreams
The one that I've been waiting for
The one I've been waiting for
The one I've been waiting for
Though I'm still so unsure…

3 Feb 2005

Runaway Island

Smoker's blues in this dark silhouette
Faded calls and misery sets
On to something else
Distracted minds
And forsaken lies

So I will run away
And so I will run…away
To the island of wonder
To the island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…
Everywhere I go….

Wasted hours
And wasted moments
Fall…
And this call of darkness
Keeps pounding harder
Keeps creeping longer
On to me

And I will run away
And so I will run…away
To the island of wonder
To the island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…
Everywhere I go….

Sweet surrender
Haven from my sorrow
Tears and falter

The island of wonder…
The island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…

So I will run away
And so I will run…away
To the island of wonder
To the island, misery
Calls my name
It's called for me…
Everywhere I go….

1 Feb 2005

Love Stalls

Distant eyes
Seem to wander off
More than often
Less than not.

Pleasant words
Of unhappy hearts
Mix to make us
Draw apart.

How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall…

Subtle surrender
To miserable confusion,
Irrelevant illusions
Allude unsuccessful relations

But
How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall…

Misunderstandings
Abide by the laws
Of time without care
Will lead us to fall

Just tell me…
How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall…

How did we falter?
How did we fall?
When did this happen?
When did our love stall?

1 Feb 2005

Now

I don't understand
That dark winter morning
Grey clouds and emptiness
Dry throat and light head
Woke up from that bad dream
To cold sweat and nightmare…

I need you now
Reach for me, promise me
That you will not for-
Sake me now
I need ya now…

22 Jan 2005

Not the One

I ain't broken hearted..
I'm not all alone.
But why am I so empty?
And left in thirst?

I need you now
Reach for me, promise me
That you will not for-
Sake me now
I need ya now…

Come for now,
Now I need you the most,
Before my heart stops beatin',
And my soul much much worse
Now….

I need you now
Reach for me, promise me
That you will not for-
Sake me now
I need ya now

Oh how I need you…
Now, I need you….
You…
I need you
I need you now

Can't you take a lil moment and just see,
Who I am and where I wanna be…
Can't you see what you have become,
We're nothing more than nothing less
You're not the one

So don't wrap your arms around me
Tell that you love you love me softly,
Coz you don't love me hardly
We're nothing more than nothing less
You're not the one

Tired eyes, drawn out words, and misery
Hanging on by no more than just a thread
Broken hearts, shatter souls, and cigarettes
We're nothing more than nothing less
You're not the one

28 August 2004

Morning Light

Bright light
Peaks quietly
Through the haze
Of this summer morning.

Bright eyes
Smile at me
As I turn
And face you.

White sheets
So pure and clean
Wrap around
Our warm bodies.

Bright smiled
I rise to dress
In this summer heat
And morning light.

24 August 2004

Summer Lovin'

Melted ice cream and this summer heat
No longer children but they're still mild and meek
Little girl eyes and pretty boy smile
Hearts that race with intrinsic love.

And boys always want what the good girls have
But will this naïve spirit give it to him
He speaks so softly with his hands
It hurts just a bit but she likes this pain.

Inside jokes and they laugh in vain
Summer will last forever or longer than spring
Flames will come and flames will go
But how do they know these friendships will last.

24 August 2004

This Place In Love

Big words with small meaning
Are what I'm filling my life with,
I suppose that's why I'm so empty.

Mystification and misunderstanding
Mixes with swirls of trepidation
Deep in the caverns my mind
Allowing me to feel everything
And nothing in this moment.

They say love is strong,
But then why am I so scared?
They say love can conquer all,
But then why am I so weak?
They say love can move mountains,
But then why can't I move?

Leaving me here.
I'm stuck here,
In this one place,
Pondering love and life
While you and the rest move on…

28 June 2004

Shots

Two shots of liquor,
One shot of smile,
Baby, you don't know
What I got in mind.

A lil romancing,
A lil champagne,
Oh! Your soft sweet tongue
Running all over the place.

You act unaware,
With your angelic fascade,
But I know ya no virgin
From the taste of your embrace.

Yes, you've got style,
Yes, you've got grace
With a devillish smirk,
And a coy lil wink.

The way you undress,
The way you move,
The way you make my heart
Go ba-doom-ba-doom-ba-doom!

Paris

2007-01-03T13:10:00.000-08:00

...That's where I'll be tomorrow. (:

2006

2006-12-31T11:10:00.000-08:00

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. 365 days. One year. It's funny how a year can seem like it'll last an eternity and yet, when all is said and done, the eternity seems to have just flown by. 2006 was no exception. Nevertheless, not to be dramatic – on second though, I will be dramatic because I am dramatic [so apologies beforehand] – this year was the most important year of my entire life thus far. I didn't actually realize this until moments ago. Last year has had such an impact on me developing as a person that I seem to have let the numerous events of 06 slip out of mind. Regardless of the undeniable fact that 2005 brought about some radical changes in both my behaviour and mindset, 06 has led me to a place between naïve innocence and wild drunken table-dancing. Looking past the daily dramas, the execution of Saddam Hussein, and my tendency to fall in and out of love like clockwork, the majority of the year has been quiet; it's been a slow and gradual evolution toward a better place. I live with balance and strive for a holistic lifestyle. I still stumble from time to time and "What will become of me?" still comes to mind but can honestly say I am proud of who I am. I look forward to 2007 with optimistic eyes. Have a bitchin' new year, y'all!

What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Say goodbye to my life and everything I know.

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- Yes. I wanted to be a good person.

- My resolutions for next year are: grow in faith and spirituality, speak and write in French fluently, write more songs and work on my poetry

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

Did anyone close to you die?
No.

What countries did you visit?
None.

What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Love.

What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Jan 6. Oddest club night ever with Steph.

Feb 4. Kendra was drunker than me.

Valentine's Day. I had my heartbroken.

March 3. I studied over going to a Holi party.

April 7. My half birthday party.

April 25 to 29. Days jammed with vodka shots, plays, clubs and pubs, and late night cake eating.

June 17. I met Ansel.

July 29. Viva Goa. I'm never performing without earplugs again.

August 2 – 6. Montreal. I got pissed at Kendra.

August 25 & 26. Steph's birthday party.

Oct 9. My birthday.

Nov 28. AIDS in India show.

Dec 13. Last day at Guelph.

Dec 24. Praised for singing at midnight mass.

Dec 25. Christmas.

Dec 28. Goodbye luncheon.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Wanting to live a holistic.

What was your biggest failure?
Stumbling on my journey to a better lifestyle.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had bronchitis for 2 months. I had flu and a cough for 2 and a half months.

What was the best thing you bought?
Black blazer.

Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Dia.

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Too many to mention.

Where did most of your money go?
Adventures downtown.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Err… I have a tendency to get excited over the smallest things instead of big things.

What song will always remind you of 2006?
"Promiscuous Girl" – Nelly Furtado and Timbaland

Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder?
Happier.

Thinner or fatter?
Thinner.

Richer or poorer?
Poorer.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Club.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Club.

How did you spend Christmas?
At home with my family.

Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes.

How many one-night stands?
Around 30.

What was your favourite TV program?
Will & Grace. Godiva's. Grey Anatomy. Ugly Betty.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

What was the best book you read?
Glamorama.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Sounds.

What did you want and get?
Yep.

What did you want and not get?
iPod nano.

What was your favourite film of this year?
Water.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Eat massive amounts of dessert at Demetri's with Steph, Joe, and Alicia. 20.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being loved in return.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Modern.

What kept you sane?
Lyndsay. Chelsea. Ben Harper. Diana. Knowing I'd be leaving for Paris. Steph and Kendra at the start of the year. Myself.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nelly Furtado. Gavin Rossdale. Lenny Kravitz. Kate Moss.

What political issue stirred you the most?
The Indian government refused to remove Section 377 of the Indian penal code.

Who did you miss?
My mom.

Who was the best new person you met?
Noelle Morris.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
All good things come to an end.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"All I can do is try…"

Down to Distrikt: Indie Over House

2006-12-17T06:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Stephanie [my best] convinced me to go to Club Distrikt. I didn't realize until today that last night might have been the last time the two of us go to a club downtown together... I wore white and was happy with it lol. I liked the music but not the crowd as much. Synaue, Colin, Dwayne and his girlfriend were there as well. Stephanie hooked up with some guy named Phil I believe [err meh, I say no more haha]. I wanted to dance with this one girl who kept looking at me [though it might have simply been because I was breaking the strictly enforced fashion rule - "No white after Labour Day!"]. She was pretty. Some guy mauled her soon after I noticed her and she walked off the dancefloor.

I don't think i like clubs in the same way. I don't really like dressing up and going to clubs as much as before. I still like to dance but the whole drinking-over-priced-alcohol-and-paying-tons-of-money-to-be-surrounded-by-off-beaters-or-groped-by-sleaze isn't my thing anymore. I think I'm now one of the better dancers I know/have seen in my last few club experiences and knowing this bores me... [Oh, I didn't mean that in a snob way... more reflective]. It makes me not even want to try. The people that come to these places aren't there for dancing, they're there for sex. By the end of the night, I was hoping it would end and I could be home in my bed. I kept thinking I'd prefer to be in some artsy coffeehouse right now, chilling and listening to so good acoustic indie. I love the city still. I would just rather go downtown during the day. My interests have just changed from staying out all night drinking and dancing till I drop [and yes, the occasional one-night-stand] to singing and playing my guitar, to watching films, to go restaurants eat massive amounts of food lol...

I thought this change was because of another person. I thought wrong. This change was gradual and had slowly started at the beginning of summer vacation.

Clubs are fun but I definitely don't want to go to another one for a while. I've learnt as much as i want from clubs and I have learnt a lot from them; they've taught me about dealing with drunks, protecting myself, hold large amounts of alcohol, and how to out dance a room full of people. I'm proud of what I've learnt and of myself for moving on. lol Man, I must sound like such a killjoy. I'm not. I'm not hating on clubs, I just think moderation... or infrequency for now... is the key.

i want the earthtones.

2006-12-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

like an earthtone. you are a worn out green jacket. a true earth poet. subtly controlling my every day. you're so brillant, so subtly brillant. beautiful skin, beautiful voice, beautiful soul. you live the holistic life i want to live. you are inspired by Ben Harper, promote environmental sustainability, and wear your afro with skill. you are a healthy dose of subsistient-living. goodbye. - da'an

AIDS in India

2006-11-29T18:44:00.000-08:00

Last night was the "AIDS in India" show. It did not turn out how I wanted but we were able to raise around 200 dollars for ASAAP. Noelle, Mandippal, and Alysha performed; all were amazing as expected. I was too sick to sing but I [barely] managed to get through my short talks on HIV prevention in India. (Buckley's Decongestant Liquid was in full force.) Dr. Krell and Dr. Deshpande gave short talks as well. Iman refused to dance – I guess I should think again before asking performers with bigger egos than talent…

After the show, I realized how difficult fighting preventing HIV/AIDS in India will be. I just hope I'm strong enough to persist.

The following is an excerpt from a piece I wrote on AIDS in India:

To answer the question, the virus must become extinct for AIDS to discontinue. As such, biologists in the medical field must find a cure to destroy the virus within the body. Sadly, however, biological medicine has become highly commoditized and, as was mentioned, HIV/AIDS most greatly affects those with little money living in the undeveloped world. The director of the HIV/AIDS programme at Human Rights Watch, Joanne Csete, was quoted saying, "It is a sad irony that India is one of the biggest producers of the drugs that have transformed the lives of people with AIDS in wealthy countries. But for millions of Indians, access to these medicines is a distant dream."

To protect future generations from acquiring the virus, the social aspects of AIDS transmission must be looked at. Through prevention and safe sex education and practice, new cases of HIV/AIDS will decrease and eventually, if there are no new cases, then the virus will die out. Bringing safe sex practices into a culture is something that can be done by the people and does not require a doctrine or lab funding.

Still, it is very unlikely every infected individual in the world will practice safe sex. Research from both disciplines is currently required to end the issue at hand, focusing on the five major groups and their interconnected relationship.

Although injecting drug use has declined from 13% to 10% in 2005, it is still an issue for HIV transmission in India. It is difficult to pass on knowledge about HIV transmission to this group. There are very strict laws against drug usage in India which in turn make it hard to actually reach out to this group of people. More importantly though, it must be known that needle-sharing has implications that go beyond the circle of drug users. The government must allow HIV messages regarding needle-sharing to be presented to this group if changes are to be made. Many injecting drug users are male truck drivers. India has one of the largest road networks in the world, involving millions of drivers and helpers. "There is no entertainment. It is day-in-day-out driving... When they stop, they drink, dine and have sex with women. Then they transfer HIV from urban to rural settings."[i] Truck drivers not only infect the women the sleep with on the road but their wives when they return home. Improvements must be made regarding economic and personal benefits for truck drivers. Their travels must be kept shorter giving them time to go home to their families and not resort to drug use and one-night-stands.

Research has shown there is a direct correlation between stigma/discrimination and a young gay male's risk of HIV. "Feeling accepted and supported as a young gay man is very important in terms of self-acceptance and self-esteem. Having high self-esteem among young gay men has been shown to have positive impact on confidence about negotiating sexual relationships and practicing safe sex.."[ii] Permissive laws which equalize the rights of gay men with others in the population can help normalize sexual differences and cause decline in stigma surrounding homosexuality. The social stigma makes it difficult and at times dangerous for young men to disclose their sexuality and 'come out'.[iii] In India, homosexual sexual intercourse is illegal and can hold a 10-year jail sentence.[iv] These anti-homosexuality laws were drafted by the British in 1861. Also, Section 377 of the Indian penal code prohibits "carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal".[v] Denis Broun, UNAIDS India coordinator, said: "Criminalization of people most at risk of HIV infection may increase stigma and discrimination, ultimately fuelling the Aids epidemic."[vi] "It [the law] can adversely contribute to pushing the infection underground and make risky sexual practices go unnoticed and unaddressed," a Naco (National AIDS Control Organization) statement said.[vii] The Indian government must abolish laws against homosexual activity to decrease stigma and discrimination. Since homosexual sex is illegal and homosexual relations are frowned upon, many gay young men marry women. These men secretly continue to have sex with other men, thereby increasing the likelihood of being infected and infecting their wives with HIV.

Unfaithful heterosexual men place themselves and their wives at high risk of being infected with HIV, particularly when they engage in sexual intercourse with sex [street] workers. Sex work is very common in India compared to many other countries. Although brothels and other forms of organized sex work are illegal, sex work is not strictly illegal in India. Women usually turn to this work because of poverty, marital break-up, or because they are forced into it. The government has plans to introduce stricter legislation regarding sex work. This change has been opposed by organized sex worker groups who claim that such legislation would just push the trade underground and make it harder to regulate. It would also make it more difficult to reach sex workers with information about HIV. One national study suggested that 42% of sex workers believe that they can tell whether a client has HIV based on physical appearance. Misinformation and lack of information about AIDS within this group is widespread. To tackle this problem facing the sex workers in Mysore, a 'smart card' scheme has been implemented. Sex workers are given cards that they must present at a health check-up at least once every three months to remain valid. These cards read their medical details/status. These same cards can be used to get discounts for food and clothes in certain shops if the sex worker continues to go to her medical appointments. This encourages sex workers to look after their own health. This plan raises sex workers' self-esteem by integrating them into mainstream culture and thereby, helps them negotiate on condom use with clients. Also, in 1992 the Sonagachi project was implemented. The basis of this project is the three R's: Respect, Reliance and Recognition – respecting sex workers, relying on them to run the program, and recognizing their professional and human rights. Sex workers act as peer-educators and are sent to brothels to teach others about HIV/AIDS and condom use.[viii]

In India, the monogamous housewife is at greater risk of being infected with HIV/AIDS than a sex worker. The rising number of women (over 1.9 million at the last count) afflicted with AIDS is causing alarm in the Indian medical fraternity—especially since more than 90% of these are married women and are in a monogamous relationship.[ix] As the campaign says, these faithful housewives must ask the question "I care for you. Why don't you care for me?" Microbicides will give Indian women the chance to protect themselves from HIV but still be able to get pregnant, which is very important with the social pressures to produce a son. In addition, men in India must be taught the ABC (Abstinence, Be faithful, Condomize) method, with emphasis on being faithful to their wives.

The biological and anthropological issues facing the five groups must be addressed and the interconnected relationship between these groups must been kept in mind to solve the problem at hand.

"The challenges India faces to overcome this epidemic are enormous. Yet India possesses in ample quantities all the resources needed to achieve universal access to HIV prevention and treatment… defeating AIDS will require a significant intensification of our efforts, in India, just as in the rest of the world."[x]

[i] (2006). "HIV and AIDS in India: Who is Affected?". Avert. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web: <http://www.avert.org/hiv-india.htm>

[ii] (2006). "HIV, AIDS, and young gay men."Avert. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web: <http://www.avert.org/aidsyounggaymen.htm>

[iii] IBID.

[iv] (2006). "Anger at 'Shameful' India gay laws." BBC News. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4602068.stm>

[v] (2006). "India HIV group backs gay rethink." BBC News. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web:

<http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/5198902.stm>

[vi] (2006). "Anger at 'Shameful' India gay laws." BBC News. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4602068.stm>

[vii] (2006). "India HIV group backs gay rethink." BBC News. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web:

<http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/5198902.stm>

[viii] (2006). "HIV and AIDS in India: Who is Affected?". Avert. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web: <http://www.avert.org/hiv-india.htm>

[ix] Khosla, Surabhi. "AIDS and the married Indian Woman." The South Asian. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web: <http://www.the-south-asian.com/June2005/AIDS-Women-in-India.htm>

[x] (2006). "HIV and AIDS in India: Who is Affected?". Avert. Retrieved 13 November 2006 from the World Wide Web: <http://www.avert.org/hiv-india.htm>

i’m going to tell you a secret…

2006-11-24T21:59:00.000-08:00

have you heard that song "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter? it's called "Bay Day" because it's about a bad day. imagine that. i hate that song. really. not just because of the annoying falsetto Daniel whines the song out with but because i think i'm living the lyrics right now. i'm sick and struggling to get through songs that i usually find to be rather easy. blah.

i've been meaning to write an entry and i suppose there is no better time than this. this semester has been no more than an endless stream of hard work. i don't think i can remember what it feels like not to be rushing off to do something or another. the life of a typical university student i suppose. nevertheless, i was beginning to think i wasn't finding time to develop myself as a person anymore. last year, the radical changes seemed to be unavoidably noticeable. yet this time around i don't feel like i've done anything but procrastinate and then work like mad.

i was wrong to think such things though. after Ankita's dinner, i realized how much i have actually grown. i feel mature. i'm really not too sure how it happened to be quite honest. but like most great things, it just snuck up on me.

the semester is almost over. i've been patiently waiting for this for the past four months. it's almost here and yet now i'm thinking "Hm, if I only had a little bit more time…" if i only had a little more time, i could finish my calculus quiz and master a course i loathe. if i only had a little more time, i could continue to mend failing friendships. if i only had a little more time, i could sleep in a bit more and avoid being called "haggard". if i only had a little more time, i could prolong this waiting game that i am loving so much - honestly, waiting has never been so beautiful. regardless, the semester is almost over and the time is almost here. i'm going to tell you a secret…

The Perfect Singer/Halloween

2006-10-31T18:30:00.000-08:00

each note must flow with easy but with achievement. each phrase must ring with originality. and each song must move them all. i want to be so intense that it hurts. there is no point without passion. i don't want to be the perfect singer; i'm not that arrogant. i want to make music like raw electric blue. or like American lo-fi tranquility. soulful stuff conveying emotions that can only be expressed with a sigh. i just want to be great.

there is something about Halloween night that is different than most holidays. it is a night where children rule with a simple phrase. where we disguise ourselves behind funny masks and pounds of face paint. everything has seemed to have gone a bit bizarre. and the night air tastes crisp and cool. happy la lo ween! (:

a perfect night out

2006-10-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

new vest. train ride with stephi. lime margaritas. dinner at Mr Green Jeans. my two favourite friends, Dia and Stephi. well, three: vodka. London bridges fell. my new favourite club, Inside. first cold club experience of the season (coat check was in use - i love coat check <3). color="#009900">smack that. rum and coke (and usually coke makes me really sick - but God was on my side). kept my no hangover streak alive (never one have i had one - i was designed for this lifestyle yayy). up at 8 and able to sing at mass. (: we brought sexy back.. YEA

p.s it should be known that Dia needs a driver's liscence but is amazing regardless!! :P

scared of the past

2006-09-22T02:43:00.000-07:00

before i started to change, i noticed when he would see me... he'd smile. and i hated it and it was like the most evil piercing smile. like it hurt me but i didn't like him at all by this point. i was disgusted by him in fact. yet it hurt. i think i figured out why tonight. the reason why i hated when he'd smile at me was because he wasn't smiling at me to say hello or as a sexual thing. he was smiling because i had become exactly like him. when he first met me i was like the sweetest kid, fuck i was almost an angel at that... and within less than 6 months i had become this glamour-driven drunk whore who was more sought after than the guy who had changed me.

my friend's reply: maybe, you never know.. that could've been exactly what he was thinking, but i almost feel like i dont want to give him that much credit, to actually see the irony int he situations, or to see the similarity between his creation and himself. cause technically you could just have misread his smile seeing as you really don't know his character that well.

she's right. she's so right. i never got to know him well enough before i let him into my life. and he's completely changed who i am. i may have returned to a place where substance matters over status and being beautiful is not the most significant daily worry.. but i'm not the same. i have the scars and the lessons i've learnt along the way. although i have evolved to a better place, his effect on who i am will remain as a part of my past. yet i barely knew him. i'll never really ever know. and that scares me.

Time

2006-08-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

Watch the time running
Run, run down your face.
Facing the façade before the inevitable,
Facing the little white lies.

Watch the time bleeding
Bleed, bleed from your eyes.
Eyes replaced by bloodsockets,
Eyes that could never really see.

Watch the time tick
Tick, tock. Tick, tock, sings the clock.
Clocking away with its arrogant smirk,
Clocking away melodically and haunting us forever.